Dead Tracts

7:00 AM
I have been up all night. I studied what I had planned to skip. I took the fat book with me to bed and read about the junctions in the mouth, even that did not put me to sleep. Then I read each and every word on tooth shedding, any normal human being would have been in deep slumber in 3 seconds, but not me, no no no, these things just don't happen to me. I gave up and listened to the End Of The World by Skeeter Davis. Its a weirdly nice song. I replayed it about a 100 times. I was wide awake. I decided to watch a bit of The Fifth Element (an old movie), it was kind of fun, it wasn't scary as I had thought (I even switched on the lights to be on the safe side) and I was feeling guilty. The little voice said loudly in my head 'Hey you tried sleeping'. Still I had to feel more guilty! God, why! I went back to bed and tried sleeping again. Nah. Nothing. Mosquitoes bit me. I felt thirsty and hungry. The Nerd which occupies a tiny portion of my brain kept reminding about the Linea Alba, cusp of Carabelli and effin mulbery molars. It's still happening. IntErglobular or was it intrAgloubar dentin? Who cares.


Dead tracts. (it is something in your tooth btw)

Yeah?

Exams in 2 hours. I might puke when I see the paper.

Am still not really sleepy. *sigh*


12:40 PM

I never blog after college. Never. I had rather take my dear nap, thank you very much. Today (even though I haven't slept for like 27 hours) I am going to wait. For food. Yes. That's how much I love it.
Oh, paper went good. I was right about skipping stuff, I should have watched the whole movie.

And lookie! This ad is stalking me

my heart goes out to this poor man..

I love John Cusack in High Fidelity =) (yes, I still watch movies). I loved the movie.

Going to update my blog on Friday.

Friday: A great reason to smile (for those who don't have work or school on Saturday).

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Once Upon A Time When I Was A Kid

Yesterday was the last day of 2nd year BDS. I cannot believe. Am going to be in 3rd year so soon! Insha'Allah.

I have nothing new to blog about so let me tell you about some of the the epic things happened to me when I was a kid (and if you get bored, kindly leave a nice comment and go =] )

I was four. The blue floral skirt was my favourite. I wore it all the time. My mum had to make me fall asleep first when she had to wash it because there was no way I was going get out of it without putting up the fight. I loved it too much. I never told anybody, not even my mum, that I used to wear it under my uniform sometimes (it was also a skirt and blouse). The two skirts were too heavy still I endured the heaviness, it comforted me to know that underneath the horrible grey and white uniform, my lovely skirt was with me. I never got caught. One day it disappeared. Was I heartbroken? Must be.

My brother happened when I was 2. He was a monster baby. The day he sprang a tooth, I had to run miles away from him. My arm was his biting pad. Nobody made any effort to save me. Anyway. Things got worse when he could talk and think. On my 5th birthday he threw a biggest tantrum ever thrown in this world because he didn't get a gift too. I could not have fun with my new bicycle. I was riding it. He was crying. He was riding it (falling off it). I was crying. Next day, he got his own tricycle. Whatever I got, he got it too, the boy version of it. It was annoying.

I had done my bits too. When he was 2 or something, I dressed him up in my old frock, put up some clips on his almost bald head. He was my doll for three minutes until my mum saw me. She was furious. I think it was the first time she gave me a lecture (I didn't understand a word of it). I never tried it again, though.

My other brother happened when I was 6. I remember praying in my grandma's place for a sister. I was so disappointed and terrified when I heard there was another monster baby coming to live with us. However, he turned out to be a cute little thing who wouldn't mind me holding him. He was an angel for perfect 3 years and then.. Monstrous. Still is.

Okay this post is getting a bit long and there are million more. Don't worry not going to tell you all.

Once my friend and I ran away from home with a guy on a bike. I was 5, I think. It was the bike that attracted us, mind you. Good thing he lived in our neighborhood and wasn't some creepy jerk. I was home safe and sound after one round. My parents thought someone kidnapped me. You can imagine what happened to me when I came home.

It was Eid-al-Azha. There was this sheep we all hated. Its owners never tie it. So whenever their gate would be open, it would run after people, especially little girls. It got me one day. I was running all over the street crying and screaming when one good old uncle saved me. The sheep got stolen a day before Eid. Haha.

Okay, no such thing happened.




 Last one (am not a kid in this one)

When there is a mirror, a girl just had to look, even a wee peak would do. On annual dinner, there were two rest rooms. There was this huge mirror in one of them. we all went in and started brushing our hair. We took no notice of three embarrassed boys who looked dazed and confused. They were trapped. We thought they were in the girl's restroom. But look at this picture (note the sign).



well, it is me behind the black circle -__-

Now I will go back to my books. Sorry guys if I have not been to your blog. Exams are like blackholes. Will make up for it soon! =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

With Severe Headache and Laziness on its Peak, Am craving for the 5th Cup of Tea

I have been drinking tea as long as I remember, since I was 2 or something? When it's not tea it's usually a soft drink or coffee. When it is nothing, it is headache, irritation, tiredness and a slight depression.

I try to wake up earlier in the morning just so I can have a cup of tea before going to college, if I am late then it's gulping down tea from the silly Styrofoam cups (now am an expert in drinking tea hiding behind the tall and short, every kind of students). I go mad if I hear there is no milk or tea bags at home. Don't worry, I have told myself  am going to stop having it after my profs, because I really need it now, I cannot function without it (Don't I sound like an old woman?).

Addiction can be defined as the physiological and psychological dependence on anything. There are numerous types of addictions, some of them are: nicotine, cocaine, sex, video games, celebrities (any stalkers out here?), Internet (If you are reading this, you must be too), shopping, food, sugar, gambling, music (especially trance), and I almost forgot Caffeine (which is certainly a drug).

You know caffeine is the 3rd common reason of insomnia (no wonder why I am a human owl with dark circles *hoot hoot*). Caffeine addiction is something which is not taken much seriously. I guess it is not as bad as drug or alcohol addiction, and the good thing is we can get over it easily, if we are willing to, with minimum withdrawal effects. If we are willing to because it is the first step. Let's have a cup of tea and discuss it? No.

Video game addicts are most popular these days. I read an article on online role playing games. People are divorcing, stealing and dying. Some are having affairs on the game Second life (gee). A boy got deep vein thrombosis in his leg because he spent days in front of his PC without little rest and exercise. A girl and a man died because they had been playing World of Warcraft for almost 50 hours, continuously (they were even given a online funeral in the game).

Celebrity stalkers are the creepy kind. I mean why would you want to go jail and label yourself as a Psycho? Or murder him/her?? Like poor John Lennon's stalker who shot him after being nearly in love with him. Gerard Butler is a human too (a hot one. But still..). Fame comes with a price.

Sugar Addiction: sweets, cookies and chocolates all the way. As a future dentist I forbid you to eat too much. Plus the sugar rush, as good as it might feel for a little while, have several consequences.

Food addiction: Compulsive over eaters. They will eat whenever they want to, hungry or not. Result is obesity. You got it. I have noticed I eat too much when am depressed. When do you?

I can go on and on, but let's do a full stop. I wrote this on Friday night. Right now am having tea. I like it strong and unsweetened. How about you?

Apart from tea craving, my life's in a rush. I get home, take a nap and study study and study (not much retains in my mind). 2 weeks till Pre-Profs. Time, run faster.

Oh by the way I had great fun in the Annual Function last night. I decided to go with black and red =) (I looked good).

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Fooled Girl Becomes Zombified

The biggest misconception: BDS is easier than MBBS.

I have been fooled too. MBBS isn't easy but BDS is not a piece of cake as most people like to think. You have extra dentistry subjects along with MBBS course and a less duration of time.

My parents wanted me to study medicine. If i could have I would have run a 100 miles away from them (just for a time being). No, they didn't force me, yet in every other conversation they would drop the hints like:

'Doctors are very respected and rich'
'Blah blah's kids are in medicine. Isn't that nice?'
'Blah-blah is going to be a doctor'
'Your grandma wanted to be a doctor but she got married'

Right.

I was lost. Most people I knew then KNEW what they were gonna do after Inter, I was a confused soul. I didn't want to do anything. Really. Every other course made me cringe. I even did two or three posts about it on my old blog. I sat wondering and blogging and eating and sleeping, whereas my friends were already taking classes and worrying about things like Guyton and baby guyton, clothes and ugly boys. Then it hit me. I had to get going, I was feeling left out. I made a deal with my parents. BDS or BDS. That's it.

Here I am. I don't regret it (just a bit). However, it is not easy at all as I had thought, And please, people (most of them), if a student is in BDS it DOES NOT mean he wasn't given admission in MBBS. There are fools like me and there are lovers of dentistry. Believe, I know.

My pre-profs are from 24th October and my Profs are from 29th November *sigh*. Wish me some luck. I wish I can fast forward to January. It will be three months of terror.

Am feeling so guilty because I should be studying Pathology (neoplasia), not blogging. To tell you the truth, am depressed =/ the pressure.. I am so tired of it. (oOoOo.. last minute confession). Last year, during these days the guilt made me ditch my blog, pray I don't do this again or by the time I graduate I will have about 6 blogs. I have become a zombie again *sniffs*

But, hey, it will be okay, fun and sunshine again =). Am gonna do my best. Insha'Allah.

Yeah!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Blue Lion

The blue lion roars and chases you.
The nightmare has become your dream.
Such obscene obsession it is,
just desire, no trust, no beam.

The anguish of the terror engulfs you.
Your horror mingles with your fantasy.
The pain is there, yet you are no more.
Someone has gone lost in the nuisance ecstasy.


Okay. Do not ask me the meaning. By the way I did have a nightmare about the blue and orange lion trying to kill me on Sunday (can you just believe it? Am going to change my favorite colors).


 

No, the lion was not that cute.



Was more like, this =|



Nothing really special going on in my oh-so-awesome life. Miracles and miracles, am passing my tests in flying colors. I hope I will be able to pass Special Bacteriology on Wednesday. I have to rattafy about 100 pages tomorrow. Blah blah.

Annual Dinner might be held on this Saturday. I cannot decide what to wear, I don't do fancy, but last year I felt so under dressed. So, blue and white poncho or red and black (with a bit golden-golden something) long shirt? Gee.

It really sucks to miss someone.Changes are not usually good. I make mistake, you make mistake, I say things to hurt you, you do things to hurt me. What the hell? Let us kill the ego. You won't and neither will I.

Anyway.

That's the end of the another selfish elfish post with a touch of a weird poem. Heart you all. Yes, even you.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Spending Minute And My Not-So-Happy Feet

Another selfish, elfish and a lame post.

So I have spent my minute Eidi. I am happy.

Yesterday was an awfully awesome day. In the morning, I was real high (now don't get the wrong meaning. Was only in high spirit). I wore my new favourite dress, had a light breakfast (breakfast happens to me very rarely). My friends and I had planned to go to the mall since it was Wednesday. Wednesday is a 'Free' day, so free that we don't bother to go to college most Wednesdays. We have one lecture, sometimes a community trip and then 5 minutes long Phantom head. Rest of the hours are spent by yawning, talking, waiting and eating. Only good students go to the Library to study. Anyway. At college, Hafsah showed up. Surprise, surprise! She was in Kuwait. We did not know she would be coming. We were all chatter and smiles. I had asked her to bring me a very cute (and expensive) stuffed toy, a Unicorn. So there goes some of my eidi.

Please don't say it is ugly like my dad did. I Love it.

Trip: Noisy kids who giggled, poked their tongues out when we asked them to open their mouth and they had to make comments as soon as we turned, weird teachers who kept glaring at us as if we were there to steal the teeth, the evil fat headmistress who made sure every kid had displayed their mouths to us, the stupid mouse of the assistant who wanted us to cover our faces with masks and wear stupid gloves. I checked 21 kids. That's a lot. (yes we count, too) I was dying!

Then we heard we are having an extra class of Oral Anatomy, 1 hour and 30 minutes long. Yuck! We bunked.

Mall: After this nightmare, we had a happy time and some happy meal. We went to the mall, tired as hell. We still managed to have fun, I got myself a cute clutch and a stone bracelet.

Yes. I know. It was not supposed to be Pink. Say you like it.

We were about to go when something happened to my poor feet. They went stiff. Like duh! I could not walk. It was one of the most embarrassing things happened to me. I was laughing but I wanted to cry too. Helpless feeling and the stupid pain. After some massaging, I was able to walk (I felt, and probably looked, like a little baby taking her first step). Asma got to wear my heels and I got her flat sandal. I hate flat sandals and she hate heels.

Home: In my lovely bed for hours. I missed college too.

I feel Better now.

=)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

I Am a Supergirl With No Superpowers and Hardly Any Motivation. I Love it.

It all happened so soon. I have 5 months of being a teen and then it will be over, I will be an official grown up lady. Tada! Am not so looking forward. Is there a name of fear of turning 20? There should be. Twentyphobia? No, that is so lame. Most of you might ask 'Why?'

Because.

I won't be a teen, anymore.

There you go. This is the number one and the only reason.

No more blaming my mistakes, moodiness and ignorance on the raging hormones

Responsibilities.

Being two decades old

After 10 years I will be 30.

After 20 years I will be 40.

After 30 years.. Okay, that's enough.

It will be the so called Adult life, I don't think am ready yet. I can actually hear my mum shouting at me 'You are not a Teenager! You are 20 years old for God's sake'.

When I was 15 I had made a list on my purple diary 'Things I have to do before turning 20'. I haven't done most of the things. I can barely cook. I cannot even light the stove properly and I jump back back as soon as it lights. I don't know how to sue. I still haven't learned how to drive. I haven't done a single internship. I haven't written a book. I depend on my parents on many things, from waking up in the morning to the tea in evening. I even haven't sung a solo song in public (well, I won't ever do that).

At 15, 20 seemed far far away. At 15 I didn't give a damn how I look (only a bit). I do now, a lot. From last month I 'feel' kind of grown up. The world is not as innocent and a happy place as it had seemed. I learned things about myself I like and I don't like. I hardly share anything with my Mum now. I can tell who is going to be my friend forever and who is just here for the time being. I realized my parents used to have a life too before they had us. I might get my heart broken or I might break someone else's. Let's hope for the latter one. I know in few years I might be married and will be having babies *eek* (I just Cannot imagine That life). In few years, I will be a dentist, Insha'allah, a successful. Ahem ahem. I would love to earn some money. I also got that I will die one day *gasp*

I love who I am now, I adore my life. The night of 4th February, at 12 AM, no drastic change will occur. I wont grow taller and fatter or a responsible woman all of a sudden. I might not even notice it because I will be too excited for it will be my birthday until they bring the candles, 2 and 0 (sorry Sana, maybe I should not have brought you the candles with the cake. But you can. Yes, am counting on a surprise again).

                                                   

However, one day it is going to go. I will be another meaty lady in the midlife crisis *scream* but this is life. We age. I realize that. So at 19.5 I know I look good (at least to myself and Mum and Dad), I might have spilt ends but my hair are awesome, long and shiny and whats more I don't have to use Kala kola (I wont Ever use that!), I don't have to dab my face in makeup, I can look way better without it. I don't have to use anti-aging cream or Botox (you know Botox is actually made from a very pathological bacteria. Beware of how much you use it!). Am gonna age Gracefully. I should not worry about that now anyway. I have got many many years. Guys, love yourself and enjoy yourself. Let's be glad we are born as babies not, as grownups.

Am still dreading it.

                                                              

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Glow

Once upon a time when there was no Edward and Jacob to distract girls, lived Glow in her little white cottage with a red thatched roof. In those days, mothers would read their girls bedtime stories about ever lasting love, filling their minds with love and love, making them a hopeless romantic. They would assure their daughters that someday when they will be the beauties of the village, the prince would come riding on a horse, just for their hand for marriage. He would be the most handsome man in the world, a complete gentleman, not to mention the richest. Glow had believed so too. Since the day she turned sixteen, she had dressed everyday in her best Sunday frock, her hair set neat and silky in a pile, a beautiful pearl necklace framing her tiny neck. Every morning as she would go down for breakfast, her mother would cry out in happiness. Glow looked breath taking.


'My child! You are beautiful,' her mother, Olive, would hug her tightly, tears welling up in her eyes. She was one proud mother. She still couldn't believe that she played a big part making this beauty for she was no looker herself, however her prince had come too. He was a farmer's son, not the most handsome nor the richest but a thorough and thorough gentleman. She loved her Richard. She was sure her daughter would have a real prince herself.

Until now. Glow turned 20 and there was no sign of the prince. She grew tired of dressing everyday and was back to her old tomboy look. Olive wasn't taking this well. She still had hope but how will anybody fall in love with her daughter when she looked like a 13 year old boy?

'Glow, you need to shed these clothes and wear the purple gown I bought last week'

'No, mother. I am tired of these games' her daughter looked content and smiled a little. She was very disheartened before that there had been no prince for her. The stories she grew up with and what she truly believed in were all fake words. Now she knew the prince doesn't always come looking, the princess had to do some work too. She was working on it.

There was this Timmy, the farmer's son she had a crush on. There was John who made her blush. There was Fred, her almost best friend and there were others except The Prince but of course he was taken by Cinderella, Snow White, Bell, Princess Aurora and the others. She got over it. Glow was a happy girl.



..but the happy ending can be in your hands <3



Bored out of mind. Decided to wrote this senseless story. Books are my fate these days. Where are you guys? I see no comments (what I mean is Less comments). By the way, this picture made me laugh.
 

click to enlarge ^^

 
Sidrah xx o(^-^)o