Mothball Moons

I dreamed that I have been transported into another world (just like the way Lyra did in His Dark Materials). The only striking difference was the moon. It was bigger than ours, so big that you could touch it. That's it. It was nice though. *The moon felt somewhat like a mothball.* I was all, 'How did this happen? How did this happen?'. Nobody answered. Whenever I have a strangely nice dream I like to think I am astral projecting (which I never do). Google it. Anyway, when I woke up I had my mind made up to explore the dark and narrow worlds of Endodontics. My daily dose of caffeine did not do the trick and I yawned my way into the Internet where I, for no specific reason at all, googled Mona Lisa and pretended to be interested in that mysterious (creepy?) smile of hers. She does look like a man. One link branched into another and the end result was 20 something tabs. Three hours have passed since then and I am still googling weird things and downloading eBooks (I haven't read a single book by Catherynne M. Valente but I am pretty sure I'll love them. Hence, this downloading spree). I must stop.

2013 is almost on our doorstep, my 22nd birthday is horribly close, and the world did not end last week. *I was not so secretly hoping for Nibiru Cataclysm.* The world is well and alive and I am merely an exam away from being a classy dentist. Tsk.. People hate dentists. Hold onto your teeth, people. Or not. Eat chocolates, sticky candies and paan, don't brush your teeth, pray for caries, pray that your 3rd molars erupt to gift you with full fledged wisdom and unbearable pain and other dental disasters. When such disastrous happenings take place, remember me.


Now I'll have an unusually long lunch that will last an episode of Breaking Bad. Then maybe I'll open up my books and study for the finals (after thoroughly dusting them. Sneeze, sneeze).

Happy new year.

=)

Between Dog And Wolf

Warning: Okay, this is a very weird, creepy, unlike me post. So if you are planning to fall in love with me I say don't read it. But you will. You curious lot. Sigh. 

And if you guys have it too, let's talk about it over a cup of coffee. Just kidding. We should ignore each other and spare the awkwardness.

Go away. Now.

Ever got trapped in your own body?  I don’t know many people who have this horrible condition I have thanks to my mum’s genes. Sleep Paralysis. This spooky hereditary disorder sounds intriguing.  It has all the classic signs and symptoms of a terrifying nightmare:

-          You can’t breathe.

-          You can’t move.

-          You can’t speak

-          Intense fear.

-          This awful feeling of someone doing gymnastics on your body.

-          Sometimes a tearing pain will pass through you.

-          And sometimes you will vibrate like your cell phone.

-          You might hallucinate. Catch a glimpse of a spirit, ghost, beast  or your own self

-          A certain sense of an evil presence surrounds you.

-          Astral project into the other worlds. At least some people claim to.

-          Lucid dreaming. 

I was 11 when I first experience the ghastly Sleep Paralysis.  Now, 10 years later (or is it 11? I suck at math) it still happens, frequently.  Okay. 

As much as I like to think that it is a group of alien experimenting on me OR an old hag has taken a fancy to me OR a person has created my voodoo doll – it’s not that interesting after all. UnFortunately, it has a scientific explanation (to my relief and disappointment!). No paranormal stuff like black magic... Or is it? I am doubtful. 

Sleep Paralysis occurs due to this random mis-transmission of chemicals. Your body is all ZzZzZz and your mind is like O_O and these things you see and feel are just in your imagination.You are between the states of consciousness and unconsciousness. 

So after battling with insomnia (or rather sleep-phobia) and caffeine addiction I am finally getting over it.  They say just go with the flow, scrunch up your face and wriggle your toes. You will be okay in a few minutes. Or…

You’ll die from Sudden Unexplained Nocturnal Death Syndrome (SUNDS) True Story. 

Now I'll go to bed. I hope it won't happen..

But It Will. 

The Blue Lion

The blue lion roars and chases you.
The nightmare has become your dream.
Such obscene obsession it is,
just desire, no trust, no beam.

The anguish of the terror engulfs you.
Your horror mingles with your fantasy.
The pain is there, yet you are no more.
Someone has gone lost in the nuisance ecstasy.


Okay. Do not ask me the meaning. By the way I did have a nightmare about the blue and orange lion trying to kill me on Sunday (can you just believe it? Am going to change my favorite colors).


 

No, the lion was not that cute.



Was more like, this =|



Nothing really special going on in my oh-so-awesome life. Miracles and miracles, am passing my tests in flying colors. I hope I will be able to pass Special Bacteriology on Wednesday. I have to rattafy about 100 pages tomorrow. Blah blah.

Annual Dinner might be held on this Saturday. I cannot decide what to wear, I don't do fancy, but last year I felt so under dressed. So, blue and white poncho or red and black (with a bit golden-golden something) long shirt? Gee.

It really sucks to miss someone.Changes are not usually good. I make mistake, you make mistake, I say things to hurt you, you do things to hurt me. What the hell? Let us kill the ego. You won't and neither will I.

Anyway.

That's the end of the another selfish elfish post with a touch of a weird poem. Heart you all. Yes, even you.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

I Am a Supergirl With No Superpowers and Hardly Any Motivation. I Love it.

It all happened so soon. I have 5 months of being a teen and then it will be over, I will be an official grown up lady. Tada! Am not so looking forward. Is there a name of fear of turning 20? There should be. Twentyphobia? No, that is so lame. Most of you might ask 'Why?'

Because.

I won't be a teen, anymore.

There you go. This is the number one and the only reason.

No more blaming my mistakes, moodiness and ignorance on the raging hormones

Responsibilities.

Being two decades old

After 10 years I will be 30.

After 20 years I will be 40.

After 30 years.. Okay, that's enough.

It will be the so called Adult life, I don't think am ready yet. I can actually hear my mum shouting at me 'You are not a Teenager! You are 20 years old for God's sake'.

When I was 15 I had made a list on my purple diary 'Things I have to do before turning 20'. I haven't done most of the things. I can barely cook. I cannot even light the stove properly and I jump back back as soon as it lights. I don't know how to sue. I still haven't learned how to drive. I haven't done a single internship. I haven't written a book. I depend on my parents on many things, from waking up in the morning to the tea in evening. I even haven't sung a solo song in public (well, I won't ever do that).

At 15, 20 seemed far far away. At 15 I didn't give a damn how I look (only a bit). I do now, a lot. From last month I 'feel' kind of grown up. The world is not as innocent and a happy place as it had seemed. I learned things about myself I like and I don't like. I hardly share anything with my Mum now. I can tell who is going to be my friend forever and who is just here for the time being. I realized my parents used to have a life too before they had us. I might get my heart broken or I might break someone else's. Let's hope for the latter one. I know in few years I might be married and will be having babies *eek* (I just Cannot imagine That life). In few years, I will be a dentist, Insha'allah, a successful. Ahem ahem. I would love to earn some money. I also got that I will die one day *gasp*

I love who I am now, I adore my life. The night of 4th February, at 12 AM, no drastic change will occur. I wont grow taller and fatter or a responsible woman all of a sudden. I might not even notice it because I will be too excited for it will be my birthday until they bring the candles, 2 and 0 (sorry Sana, maybe I should not have brought you the candles with the cake. But you can. Yes, am counting on a surprise again).

                                                   

However, one day it is going to go. I will be another meaty lady in the midlife crisis *scream* but this is life. We age. I realize that. So at 19.5 I know I look good (at least to myself and Mum and Dad), I might have spilt ends but my hair are awesome, long and shiny and whats more I don't have to use Kala kola (I wont Ever use that!), I don't have to dab my face in makeup, I can look way better without it. I don't have to use anti-aging cream or Botox (you know Botox is actually made from a very pathological bacteria. Beware of how much you use it!). Am gonna age Gracefully. I should not worry about that now anyway. I have got many many years. Guys, love yourself and enjoy yourself. Let's be glad we are born as babies not, as grownups.

Am still dreading it.

                                                              

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Elf goes Pink again!

UPDATE: I have changed it. I like Cute, too =o

OMG! It is Pink again (not my color) and the layout doesn't really go with the title. However I like it, I like colorful and neat (is this neat?). Don't be surprised if you find the old template back, though.

I have been very busy (usually doing nothing). I hadn't had a wink of sleep on Sunday night. I went to college looking like a zombie, came back home, tried to sleep but could not. I slept around at 4:00 AM yesterday. Finally. It was horrible. It was like I had forgotten how to sleep, and oh, I missed Sehri and college today.

It will be raining Module Tests from thursday till God knows when. Pathology, Pharmacology, Oral Anatomy and Community Dentistry define my life these days. Thousands of diseases to study, millions of drugs to memorize and to understand their mechanism of actions is pure torture! Rattafying tooth morphology is my least favourite. Oral Anatomy, you suck. We have trips in Communty Dentistry, which were only fun at first, we go to schools, colleges and camps to check kid's oral hygiene. Most of them make me wish I wasn't studying BDS. "People, there'a a thing called toothbrush" I want to scream. Some of the little kids are real cute though, if you don't mind their oral cavity.

I wish I were a chef instead of a medical student. I love food. I have promised myself - right now - I will take cooking classes as soon as I am done with college.

So.

I am feeling good enough but unreal. There's a strange buzz going on around me and the things don't seem bright, they are unnaturally dull. It's like I am underwater. So heavy. I have a sore throat too.

Eid is not far. I haven't started shopping yet thanks to my lazy parents. My list which I had so lovingly written seems useless, I have changed my mind, I don't want those sutff now. I will be spontaneous. I will buy what I like right then! (If my parents allow)

Serendipity is a nice movie (yes, I have seen it Now). I have a crush on younger John Cusack *sigh* ..Reading Dan Brown's Digital Fortress. He writes awfully good.

I love good pictures Oo

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Dissolved - My Moment

Amazing weather, isn’t it? On days like this I want to sing, dance with trees and run on the rainbow. I wish I were Pocahontas. Yes am bonkers today, but in a good way!

I woke up at 7 AM and went to the balcony...surprise, surprise... the heavy rain greeted me. For few minutes I just stood there gazing at the lovely rain falling down (oh I wish I had made the video), the sun had become a tiny silver pearl and the grey clouds were in a roar. I saw tiny puddles with leaves floating in them, the cars were wet and bright, the earth and the walls were being washed by the nature. My grumpy mood disappeared (it is my typical mood when I wake up early). I felt like a little kid all ready to play. I was actually excited to go to college (we got off, though, which is better, I guess!). If I had my soul mate here, I probably would have danced with him (are we getting emotional here?)

It was a happy moment. My moment

now a little poem 'Dissolved'

I am awed
The nature is my beauty
I let the kisses of the clouds fall down on me
Joyful is the taste, the scent is heavenly

My soul wakes up as I dance
So harmonious is the song of rain
Little romance, a happy chance
All dreams run anew in my vein

A flash of golden
It is almost the end
Seven colors bind
I walk within

Happy rain to You! Eat pakoras =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Dreams - Waiting for My Day

Looks like am a blogger again, I missed it. Am eating aloo ki kachori (homemade) it is yummy. I love my mum's cooking. Am going to learn cooking someday soon! I will become a secret chef, adding wild ingredients to my food to make it delicious. Once there was an old woman, who used to make the yummiest soup ever, turned out she added old socks (unwashed) in her pot. Gross? Need a more strong word! No, I will not be this desperate; I will only add nice nice stuff... herbs n spices. I will have a huge spacey kitchen with a big window which will open into my garden (yes am going to b a gardener too) sunshine will be my friend all day long (at night I will befriend the electricity) It will a cool place, no sweating and unbearable heat. Autumn will be the only season.

Wake up! Reality Check!

Daydreaming is nice. However am going to make this one come true. Inshallah =)

Poster Competition is on 4th August and all we have done by now is we have chosen the topic (dental Fluorosis, can it get any worse?). It’s going to be fun, though. A chance to get dressed up! Who knows, we might win too?


Book am reading these days: The Partner By John Grisham =]

19, so young and energetic, full of blah blahs and awesome plans... patiently waiting for my day!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o