Mothball Moons

I dreamed that I have been transported into another world (just like the way Lyra did in His Dark Materials). The only striking difference was the moon. It was bigger than ours, so big that you could touch it. That's it. It was nice though. *The moon felt somewhat like a mothball.* I was all, 'How did this happen? How did this happen?'. Nobody answered. Whenever I have a strangely nice dream I like to think I am astral projecting (which I never do). Google it. Anyway, when I woke up I had my mind made up to explore the dark and narrow worlds of Endodontics. My daily dose of caffeine did not do the trick and I yawned my way into the Internet where I, for no specific reason at all, googled Mona Lisa and pretended to be interested in that mysterious (creepy?) smile of hers. She does look like a man. One link branched into another and the end result was 20 something tabs. Three hours have passed since then and I am still googling weird things and downloading eBooks (I haven't read a single book by Catherynne M. Valente but I am pretty sure I'll love them. Hence, this downloading spree). I must stop.

2013 is almost on our doorstep, my 22nd birthday is horribly close, and the world did not end last week. *I was not so secretly hoping for Nibiru Cataclysm.* The world is well and alive and I am merely an exam away from being a classy dentist. Tsk.. People hate dentists. Hold onto your teeth, people. Or not. Eat chocolates, sticky candies and paan, don't brush your teeth, pray for caries, pray that your 3rd molars erupt to gift you with full fledged wisdom and unbearable pain and other dental disasters. When such disastrous happenings take place, remember me.


Now I'll have an unusually long lunch that will last an episode of Breaking Bad. Then maybe I'll open up my books and study for the finals (after thoroughly dusting them. Sneeze, sneeze).

Happy new year.

=)

Apples and Bananas.

February will come. It will wave a wand. I will turn 21. It will bring a huge gift wrapped in a glittering paper. All that glitter is not gold. February's gift is of the horrible kind, what makes it worse is that I didn't even ask for it. Who would want it? No candles, no surprises, no birthday cakes, no birthday caps, no birthday hugs, no birthday song, no birthday dance, no birthday laughs, no birthday pictures, no birthday at all. This year a mere text and two minutes phone call. I cannot allow more than that, for the February's gift won't let me.

#ForeverAlone

If it had arrived early then all should have been well. December came and I asked for it. It shook its head and went away. January shrugs. February sneers. No longer my month. February will come. It will wave a wand. I will turn 21. I will be handed the gift, I will tear away the glittering paper, the howling wind will greet me in a shape of exams.

Hello and goodbye.

Can I Be more depressed? Yes, it is only a birthday. I know. The thing is I have been stuck at home since October, studying and studying, because they said the exams could happen any moment. Now am a sad little zombie of a girl. 

I wait for March.

Till then I will eat apples and bananas.

No, you cannot have any.

Torture Time. Boo.

Hey. Sad, sad news. My exams are from Monday, so you will not see this poor elf for two weeks. I promise am going to read (and comment on) all the blogs I have been ignoring after my midterms. Inshaa'Allah.


Exams suck. They make us fat. We read a sentence -? we get starved -> we eat -> fat, fat and fat. The vicious cycle goes on and on.

 Anyway. What did I do all day instead of studying? Glared at my book, drew little tiny cartoons on every single page I was supposed to study, watched an episode of HIMYM,  cooked and ate noodles, had a loooong, great chatter with my brothers <-- on usual days they rarely exist and drank lots Falsa berry juice. And now am online. Later am going to bed. Tsk, tsk.

DeviantArt makes me happy. I like.

Happy Moments =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

All Done To Be Left

'So much done to be left ='('


This is what my text said a night before the exam. My friend replied back, 'You mean so much left to be done?'

I was on a verge of nervous breakdown. Daily I spent 20 hours studying. Wake up, study, snore, wake up, study, snore... Isn't this going on for 3 months now? You tell me, how long I have been crying 'exams hai exams hai'. It still isn't over. No, baby, no. You might as well say they have just started. Am pissed off, big time. KU cancelled our paper, it'll be held on 8th January (let's hope so, let's pray so). Plus 4 vivas to go through *sob sob*

Okay, okay. Here I am! After a long, long time. Did you wonder about me? No? Oh. I cannot promise when the punctual blogger in me will be back, I can only hope before I turn 20. I miss blogging and miss reading your blog posts. Am sure you guys miss my awesome comments, too.
No matter how horrible my days are I still manage to watch few movies (about 10). I loved Inception, it was wowsers! Leonardo DiCaprio is too good *crushed*. Another movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall made my day (night, actually, I watched it at 3 AM). It was a good laugh; light and full of funny bits. If you like good romantic comedies, do watch it (Yeah, so what if Jason Segel is a bit gay in it). Black Swan is next on my movie list.

I went to Expo bookfair with Sana on Saturday. Liberty bookhouse made me drool, I wasn't so rich, I could buy only two books *pouts* Next year am going to go loaded. Going to start saving money from now (now = next month).

Anyway 2011 is around the corner. How about some revolutionary resolutions? They never work for me. Still I have made a few (it is worrying how they never change)
- Save money. Starting now. (Reaction: oops, it'll have to be next month!)

- Lose weight (Reaction: this one sucks. It NEVER works. Never ever. Never.)

- Eat less (Reaction: same as above)

- Study (I already am! Don't make me puke)

- Buy clothes (yes, my topmost priority. Old ones reek of exams.)

- Watch movies (yes!)

- Call my poor ignored friends more often. At least once a month. (It's such a task now. It should not be. God, where is my 'time'?)

- Complete 2nd year. Haha, I have been trying That for months now. God bless you. KU.

- Update my blog (am I not doing that now?)

- Socialize with people (now what is that supposed to mean? It's on my resolution list for years now. I don't get it).

- Complete Wuthering Heights without wincing. (classics make me wince *shrug*..anyway, I think it'll be done before new year)

You made any?

Books you should read "Tipping the velvet' and 'Wuthering Heights' (without wincing). Oh and I love the band Birthday Massacre, they sing great! Not many people might think so, still I feel their song "Plastic Blue' is quite nice.

Pharmacology viva is next Wednsday. I want to stand on a mountain peak and scream at the top of my lungs *aaaaaAaaaAAAAaaaAaaaAAaaaAaaAAHhhhHHHHHHHHhhHhhhhhHhHHhhHhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Virtual is better than nothing *sigh*

Oi! Happy Winters ^^ aren't they cosy? Have some peanuts!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

She's Back From The Dead

Looks like I am back. Cheers? Yes, please.

I spent two weeks in pure torture. The bleak miserable days. They make me shudder. I thought I would never be my normal self again. I was too nocturnal. I was too busy. I was too lost in the deep dark pathological pages and words which hardly comfort me, or were there by my side when I was being lashed out by the examiner during viva, or racking my brain so hard to remember the name of one pure infectious bacteria that I am surprised it isn't wracked. I gave up tea for one whole week. Tea repelled me. Yes, can you believe it? Sidrah, the great tea lover, couldn't drink tea! I didn't watch movies for like 8 days! I didn't come online for 10 days! Heck. (Except for those teeny weeny peeks in the early hours of morning). And you should have seen my face and not to mention my poor hair. The girl in the mirror was not me. My cheeks which I tell you were like apples were no longer there. My eyes were red and had gone two times smaller. My hair were dry. Was I slightly yellow? Oh no.

I was in a trance and everything and everyone around me were blurry hazy things. I didn't care about food, I ate anything they gave me (this they is just my mum). I had hundreds of unread messages. Cell phones were only another mean of discussing stuff we couldn't grasp by ourselves. I was being pulled apart from the rest of the world. I was drowning. And it was not in the water.

Okay. Enough.. To keep myself sane, I decided to read a book for a while. It took me 1 minute to realize I had no Marian Keyes' novels or another like hers to keep me bright and happy, All I had was Anne Rice. The bleak Vampire chronicles, which am addicted to. But a book on vampires and a sad nocturnal creature like me? Bleak. So not right. Hardly in a mood I read a few pages and I was lost. I spent an hour. Precious precious hour. Gone and lost. Not wasted though, I felt better. It was good to know that I still liked to read. Yay! Vampire chronicles is so much better (like way way way way better) than the all time gay twilight series.

I cannot say all my papers went good. Theory was okay, but viva *sigh* am not so sure. If I could, I would give two theory papers in place of a viva. Its not the teacher that scares me, its myself. The stupid blunders I make. I go in as a genius, come out as a fool. I can only blame myself.

Anyway. Am up since 5 am. Not such an insomniac anymore. I sleep at night. Am happy. Will do some unelfish posts soon =) I missed my normal life. So good to be back.

Oh but yes, I still have to study. My finals are a month away. But there is nothing more horrible than mocks. Trust me.



Off to have some tea now. God, I miss it.

*smile*

Sidrah xx o(^_^)o

Dead Tracts

7:00 AM
I have been up all night. I studied what I had planned to skip. I took the fat book with me to bed and read about the junctions in the mouth, even that did not put me to sleep. Then I read each and every word on tooth shedding, any normal human being would have been in deep slumber in 3 seconds, but not me, no no no, these things just don't happen to me. I gave up and listened to the End Of The World by Skeeter Davis. Its a weirdly nice song. I replayed it about a 100 times. I was wide awake. I decided to watch a bit of The Fifth Element (an old movie), it was kind of fun, it wasn't scary as I had thought (I even switched on the lights to be on the safe side) and I was feeling guilty. The little voice said loudly in my head 'Hey you tried sleeping'. Still I had to feel more guilty! God, why! I went back to bed and tried sleeping again. Nah. Nothing. Mosquitoes bit me. I felt thirsty and hungry. The Nerd which occupies a tiny portion of my brain kept reminding about the Linea Alba, cusp of Carabelli and effin mulbery molars. It's still happening. IntErglobular or was it intrAgloubar dentin? Who cares.


Dead tracts. (it is something in your tooth btw)

Yeah?

Exams in 2 hours. I might puke when I see the paper.

Am still not really sleepy. *sigh*


12:40 PM

I never blog after college. Never. I had rather take my dear nap, thank you very much. Today (even though I haven't slept for like 27 hours) I am going to wait. For food. Yes. That's how much I love it.
Oh, paper went good. I was right about skipping stuff, I should have watched the whole movie.

And lookie! This ad is stalking me

my heart goes out to this poor man..

I love John Cusack in High Fidelity =) (yes, I still watch movies). I loved the movie.

Going to update my blog on Friday.

Friday: A great reason to smile (for those who don't have work or school on Saturday).

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Once Upon A Time When I Was A Kid

Yesterday was the last day of 2nd year BDS. I cannot believe. Am going to be in 3rd year so soon! Insha'Allah.

I have nothing new to blog about so let me tell you about some of the the epic things happened to me when I was a kid (and if you get bored, kindly leave a nice comment and go =] )

I was four. The blue floral skirt was my favourite. I wore it all the time. My mum had to make me fall asleep first when she had to wash it because there was no way I was going get out of it without putting up the fight. I loved it too much. I never told anybody, not even my mum, that I used to wear it under my uniform sometimes (it was also a skirt and blouse). The two skirts were too heavy still I endured the heaviness, it comforted me to know that underneath the horrible grey and white uniform, my lovely skirt was with me. I never got caught. One day it disappeared. Was I heartbroken? Must be.

My brother happened when I was 2. He was a monster baby. The day he sprang a tooth, I had to run miles away from him. My arm was his biting pad. Nobody made any effort to save me. Anyway. Things got worse when he could talk and think. On my 5th birthday he threw a biggest tantrum ever thrown in this world because he didn't get a gift too. I could not have fun with my new bicycle. I was riding it. He was crying. He was riding it (falling off it). I was crying. Next day, he got his own tricycle. Whatever I got, he got it too, the boy version of it. It was annoying.

I had done my bits too. When he was 2 or something, I dressed him up in my old frock, put up some clips on his almost bald head. He was my doll for three minutes until my mum saw me. She was furious. I think it was the first time she gave me a lecture (I didn't understand a word of it). I never tried it again, though.

My other brother happened when I was 6. I remember praying in my grandma's place for a sister. I was so disappointed and terrified when I heard there was another monster baby coming to live with us. However, he turned out to be a cute little thing who wouldn't mind me holding him. He was an angel for perfect 3 years and then.. Monstrous. Still is.

Okay this post is getting a bit long and there are million more. Don't worry not going to tell you all.

Once my friend and I ran away from home with a guy on a bike. I was 5, I think. It was the bike that attracted us, mind you. Good thing he lived in our neighborhood and wasn't some creepy jerk. I was home safe and sound after one round. My parents thought someone kidnapped me. You can imagine what happened to me when I came home.

It was Eid-al-Azha. There was this sheep we all hated. Its owners never tie it. So whenever their gate would be open, it would run after people, especially little girls. It got me one day. I was running all over the street crying and screaming when one good old uncle saved me. The sheep got stolen a day before Eid. Haha.

Okay, no such thing happened.




 Last one (am not a kid in this one)

When there is a mirror, a girl just had to look, even a wee peak would do. On annual dinner, there were two rest rooms. There was this huge mirror in one of them. we all went in and started brushing our hair. We took no notice of three embarrassed boys who looked dazed and confused. They were trapped. We thought they were in the girl's restroom. But look at this picture (note the sign).



well, it is me behind the black circle -__-

Now I will go back to my books. Sorry guys if I have not been to your blog. Exams are like blackholes. Will make up for it soon! =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Fooled Girl Becomes Zombified

The biggest misconception: BDS is easier than MBBS.

I have been fooled too. MBBS isn't easy but BDS is not a piece of cake as most people like to think. You have extra dentistry subjects along with MBBS course and a less duration of time.

My parents wanted me to study medicine. If i could have I would have run a 100 miles away from them (just for a time being). No, they didn't force me, yet in every other conversation they would drop the hints like:

'Doctors are very respected and rich'
'Blah blah's kids are in medicine. Isn't that nice?'
'Blah-blah is going to be a doctor'
'Your grandma wanted to be a doctor but she got married'

Right.

I was lost. Most people I knew then KNEW what they were gonna do after Inter, I was a confused soul. I didn't want to do anything. Really. Every other course made me cringe. I even did two or three posts about it on my old blog. I sat wondering and blogging and eating and sleeping, whereas my friends were already taking classes and worrying about things like Guyton and baby guyton, clothes and ugly boys. Then it hit me. I had to get going, I was feeling left out. I made a deal with my parents. BDS or BDS. That's it.

Here I am. I don't regret it (just a bit). However, it is not easy at all as I had thought, And please, people (most of them), if a student is in BDS it DOES NOT mean he wasn't given admission in MBBS. There are fools like me and there are lovers of dentistry. Believe, I know.

My pre-profs are from 24th October and my Profs are from 29th November *sigh*. Wish me some luck. I wish I can fast forward to January. It will be three months of terror.

Am feeling so guilty because I should be studying Pathology (neoplasia), not blogging. To tell you the truth, am depressed =/ the pressure.. I am so tired of it. (oOoOo.. last minute confession). Last year, during these days the guilt made me ditch my blog, pray I don't do this again or by the time I graduate I will have about 6 blogs. I have become a zombie again *sniffs*

But, hey, it will be okay, fun and sunshine again =). Am gonna do my best. Insha'Allah.

Yeah!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o