Be Creative. Imitation Is Suicide

Who doesn't once in his/her lifetime wants to die? (of course if you are an extremely happy person, you will not) I don't either, but one can't help but imagine so sometimes *blush*

Well, if anyone of you is planning to, here are some ideas =] ..those hanging yourself to a fan, overdose of sleeping pills, slashing your wrist are old ones. Nah, be creative.

NOTE: Please make sure you die! (don't forget to write a will)

- If you are afraid of pain, just lie down on your bed, don't move, don't eat, don't drink.. you will fade away slowly and peacefully. Plus point is you won't be fat when they bury you.

- Get a rocket. Tie yourself to it. Launch it. You will be dead in a little while, after a getting a little view of heavens above and universe around you. Lovely, right?

- Fight a lion in a cage.

- Eat yourself.

- Try to rob a house where wrestlers live, they will surely beat you to death.

- Dig a hole, and jump.

- Drown yourself in a chocolate pool.

- Go for a swim in a Crocodile lake.

- Kiss a poisonous snake passionately.

- Keep inhaling nitric oxide AKA Laughing gas.

- Drink hundred cups coffee and die with caffeine toxicity (now this one is my favorite, my blog-pals would know why Oo)

If I ever planned to die young, I will take my dad's money, go to Venice, will have a good time and then drown myself in a sea. Romantic, right?

Okay okay, this is just a joke =o don't try these, you will only end up embarrassing and injuring yourself.

My laptop's in a hospital =] hopefully it will get well soon. Exams exams, from 13th December *scream*

Life's good. Who wants to die? Not me.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

From A Laptop To A Huge Pile Of Crap

I am the saddest girl in the world right now, at least one of them. My poor poor laptop has been eaten away by an evil ThinkPoint Virus (damn you!). It was only four months old *sniff sniffs* and how sad it is to lose all the lovely pictures, all the unfinished stories I had written, all the songs, movies and videos I had downloaded. The nice homey feeling gone... sad sad sad.

My life is now black and white, it has no meaning, no more.. no more.. no more.. And the big old crappy PC I have to use now in my brothers' messy room *sigh*

Kills me.

I could not even watch Inception now. Plus I am stuck with my books all day. Can it get any worse?



I so hope it gets okay, my dear laptop, I miss you.

Oh, Moo moo.. Happy Eid. In case am not back soon =)

*a big big sigh*

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

She's Back From The Dead

Looks like I am back. Cheers? Yes, please.

I spent two weeks in pure torture. The bleak miserable days. They make me shudder. I thought I would never be my normal self again. I was too nocturnal. I was too busy. I was too lost in the deep dark pathological pages and words which hardly comfort me, or were there by my side when I was being lashed out by the examiner during viva, or racking my brain so hard to remember the name of one pure infectious bacteria that I am surprised it isn't wracked. I gave up tea for one whole week. Tea repelled me. Yes, can you believe it? Sidrah, the great tea lover, couldn't drink tea! I didn't watch movies for like 8 days! I didn't come online for 10 days! Heck. (Except for those teeny weeny peeks in the early hours of morning). And you should have seen my face and not to mention my poor hair. The girl in the mirror was not me. My cheeks which I tell you were like apples were no longer there. My eyes were red and had gone two times smaller. My hair were dry. Was I slightly yellow? Oh no.

I was in a trance and everything and everyone around me were blurry hazy things. I didn't care about food, I ate anything they gave me (this they is just my mum). I had hundreds of unread messages. Cell phones were only another mean of discussing stuff we couldn't grasp by ourselves. I was being pulled apart from the rest of the world. I was drowning. And it was not in the water.

Okay. Enough.. To keep myself sane, I decided to read a book for a while. It took me 1 minute to realize I had no Marian Keyes' novels or another like hers to keep me bright and happy, All I had was Anne Rice. The bleak Vampire chronicles, which am addicted to. But a book on vampires and a sad nocturnal creature like me? Bleak. So not right. Hardly in a mood I read a few pages and I was lost. I spent an hour. Precious precious hour. Gone and lost. Not wasted though, I felt better. It was good to know that I still liked to read. Yay! Vampire chronicles is so much better (like way way way way better) than the all time gay twilight series.

I cannot say all my papers went good. Theory was okay, but viva *sigh* am not so sure. If I could, I would give two theory papers in place of a viva. Its not the teacher that scares me, its myself. The stupid blunders I make. I go in as a genius, come out as a fool. I can only blame myself.

Anyway. Am up since 5 am. Not such an insomniac anymore. I sleep at night. Am happy. Will do some unelfish posts soon =) I missed my normal life. So good to be back.

Oh but yes, I still have to study. My finals are a month away. But there is nothing more horrible than mocks. Trust me.



Off to have some tea now. God, I miss it.

*smile*

Sidrah xx o(^_^)o

Dead Tracts

7:00 AM
I have been up all night. I studied what I had planned to skip. I took the fat book with me to bed and read about the junctions in the mouth, even that did not put me to sleep. Then I read each and every word on tooth shedding, any normal human being would have been in deep slumber in 3 seconds, but not me, no no no, these things just don't happen to me. I gave up and listened to the End Of The World by Skeeter Davis. Its a weirdly nice song. I replayed it about a 100 times. I was wide awake. I decided to watch a bit of The Fifth Element (an old movie), it was kind of fun, it wasn't scary as I had thought (I even switched on the lights to be on the safe side) and I was feeling guilty. The little voice said loudly in my head 'Hey you tried sleeping'. Still I had to feel more guilty! God, why! I went back to bed and tried sleeping again. Nah. Nothing. Mosquitoes bit me. I felt thirsty and hungry. The Nerd which occupies a tiny portion of my brain kept reminding about the Linea Alba, cusp of Carabelli and effin mulbery molars. It's still happening. IntErglobular or was it intrAgloubar dentin? Who cares.


Dead tracts. (it is something in your tooth btw)

Yeah?

Exams in 2 hours. I might puke when I see the paper.

Am still not really sleepy. *sigh*


12:40 PM

I never blog after college. Never. I had rather take my dear nap, thank you very much. Today (even though I haven't slept for like 27 hours) I am going to wait. For food. Yes. That's how much I love it.
Oh, paper went good. I was right about skipping stuff, I should have watched the whole movie.

And lookie! This ad is stalking me

my heart goes out to this poor man..

I love John Cusack in High Fidelity =) (yes, I still watch movies). I loved the movie.

Going to update my blog on Friday.

Friday: A great reason to smile (for those who don't have work or school on Saturday).

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Once Upon A Time When I Was A Kid

Yesterday was the last day of 2nd year BDS. I cannot believe. Am going to be in 3rd year so soon! Insha'Allah.

I have nothing new to blog about so let me tell you about some of the the epic things happened to me when I was a kid (and if you get bored, kindly leave a nice comment and go =] )

I was four. The blue floral skirt was my favourite. I wore it all the time. My mum had to make me fall asleep first when she had to wash it because there was no way I was going get out of it without putting up the fight. I loved it too much. I never told anybody, not even my mum, that I used to wear it under my uniform sometimes (it was also a skirt and blouse). The two skirts were too heavy still I endured the heaviness, it comforted me to know that underneath the horrible grey and white uniform, my lovely skirt was with me. I never got caught. One day it disappeared. Was I heartbroken? Must be.

My brother happened when I was 2. He was a monster baby. The day he sprang a tooth, I had to run miles away from him. My arm was his biting pad. Nobody made any effort to save me. Anyway. Things got worse when he could talk and think. On my 5th birthday he threw a biggest tantrum ever thrown in this world because he didn't get a gift too. I could not have fun with my new bicycle. I was riding it. He was crying. He was riding it (falling off it). I was crying. Next day, he got his own tricycle. Whatever I got, he got it too, the boy version of it. It was annoying.

I had done my bits too. When he was 2 or something, I dressed him up in my old frock, put up some clips on his almost bald head. He was my doll for three minutes until my mum saw me. She was furious. I think it was the first time she gave me a lecture (I didn't understand a word of it). I never tried it again, though.

My other brother happened when I was 6. I remember praying in my grandma's place for a sister. I was so disappointed and terrified when I heard there was another monster baby coming to live with us. However, he turned out to be a cute little thing who wouldn't mind me holding him. He was an angel for perfect 3 years and then.. Monstrous. Still is.

Okay this post is getting a bit long and there are million more. Don't worry not going to tell you all.

Once my friend and I ran away from home with a guy on a bike. I was 5, I think. It was the bike that attracted us, mind you. Good thing he lived in our neighborhood and wasn't some creepy jerk. I was home safe and sound after one round. My parents thought someone kidnapped me. You can imagine what happened to me when I came home.

It was Eid-al-Azha. There was this sheep we all hated. Its owners never tie it. So whenever their gate would be open, it would run after people, especially little girls. It got me one day. I was running all over the street crying and screaming when one good old uncle saved me. The sheep got stolen a day before Eid. Haha.

Okay, no such thing happened.




 Last one (am not a kid in this one)

When there is a mirror, a girl just had to look, even a wee peak would do. On annual dinner, there were two rest rooms. There was this huge mirror in one of them. we all went in and started brushing our hair. We took no notice of three embarrassed boys who looked dazed and confused. They were trapped. We thought they were in the girl's restroom. But look at this picture (note the sign).



well, it is me behind the black circle -__-

Now I will go back to my books. Sorry guys if I have not been to your blog. Exams are like blackholes. Will make up for it soon! =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

With Severe Headache and Laziness on its Peak, Am craving for the 5th Cup of Tea

I have been drinking tea as long as I remember, since I was 2 or something? When it's not tea it's usually a soft drink or coffee. When it is nothing, it is headache, irritation, tiredness and a slight depression.

I try to wake up earlier in the morning just so I can have a cup of tea before going to college, if I am late then it's gulping down tea from the silly Styrofoam cups (now am an expert in drinking tea hiding behind the tall and short, every kind of students). I go mad if I hear there is no milk or tea bags at home. Don't worry, I have told myself  am going to stop having it after my profs, because I really need it now, I cannot function without it (Don't I sound like an old woman?).

Addiction can be defined as the physiological and psychological dependence on anything. There are numerous types of addictions, some of them are: nicotine, cocaine, sex, video games, celebrities (any stalkers out here?), Internet (If you are reading this, you must be too), shopping, food, sugar, gambling, music (especially trance), and I almost forgot Caffeine (which is certainly a drug).

You know caffeine is the 3rd common reason of insomnia (no wonder why I am a human owl with dark circles *hoot hoot*). Caffeine addiction is something which is not taken much seriously. I guess it is not as bad as drug or alcohol addiction, and the good thing is we can get over it easily, if we are willing to, with minimum withdrawal effects. If we are willing to because it is the first step. Let's have a cup of tea and discuss it? No.

Video game addicts are most popular these days. I read an article on online role playing games. People are divorcing, stealing and dying. Some are having affairs on the game Second life (gee). A boy got deep vein thrombosis in his leg because he spent days in front of his PC without little rest and exercise. A girl and a man died because they had been playing World of Warcraft for almost 50 hours, continuously (they were even given a online funeral in the game).

Celebrity stalkers are the creepy kind. I mean why would you want to go jail and label yourself as a Psycho? Or murder him/her?? Like poor John Lennon's stalker who shot him after being nearly in love with him. Gerard Butler is a human too (a hot one. But still..). Fame comes with a price.

Sugar Addiction: sweets, cookies and chocolates all the way. As a future dentist I forbid you to eat too much. Plus the sugar rush, as good as it might feel for a little while, have several consequences.

Food addiction: Compulsive over eaters. They will eat whenever they want to, hungry or not. Result is obesity. You got it. I have noticed I eat too much when am depressed. When do you?

I can go on and on, but let's do a full stop. I wrote this on Friday night. Right now am having tea. I like it strong and unsweetened. How about you?

Apart from tea craving, my life's in a rush. I get home, take a nap and study study and study (not much retains in my mind). 2 weeks till Pre-Profs. Time, run faster.

Oh by the way I had great fun in the Annual Function last night. I decided to go with black and red =) (I looked good).

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Fooled Girl Becomes Zombified

The biggest misconception: BDS is easier than MBBS.

I have been fooled too. MBBS isn't easy but BDS is not a piece of cake as most people like to think. You have extra dentistry subjects along with MBBS course and a less duration of time.

My parents wanted me to study medicine. If i could have I would have run a 100 miles away from them (just for a time being). No, they didn't force me, yet in every other conversation they would drop the hints like:

'Doctors are very respected and rich'
'Blah blah's kids are in medicine. Isn't that nice?'
'Blah-blah is going to be a doctor'
'Your grandma wanted to be a doctor but she got married'

Right.

I was lost. Most people I knew then KNEW what they were gonna do after Inter, I was a confused soul. I didn't want to do anything. Really. Every other course made me cringe. I even did two or three posts about it on my old blog. I sat wondering and blogging and eating and sleeping, whereas my friends were already taking classes and worrying about things like Guyton and baby guyton, clothes and ugly boys. Then it hit me. I had to get going, I was feeling left out. I made a deal with my parents. BDS or BDS. That's it.

Here I am. I don't regret it (just a bit). However, it is not easy at all as I had thought, And please, people (most of them), if a student is in BDS it DOES NOT mean he wasn't given admission in MBBS. There are fools like me and there are lovers of dentistry. Believe, I know.

My pre-profs are from 24th October and my Profs are from 29th November *sigh*. Wish me some luck. I wish I can fast forward to January. It will be three months of terror.

Am feeling so guilty because I should be studying Pathology (neoplasia), not blogging. To tell you the truth, am depressed =/ the pressure.. I am so tired of it. (oOoOo.. last minute confession). Last year, during these days the guilt made me ditch my blog, pray I don't do this again or by the time I graduate I will have about 6 blogs. I have become a zombie again *sniffs*

But, hey, it will be okay, fun and sunshine again =). Am gonna do my best. Insha'Allah.

Yeah!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Blue Lion

The blue lion roars and chases you.
The nightmare has become your dream.
Such obscene obsession it is,
just desire, no trust, no beam.

The anguish of the terror engulfs you.
Your horror mingles with your fantasy.
The pain is there, yet you are no more.
Someone has gone lost in the nuisance ecstasy.


Okay. Do not ask me the meaning. By the way I did have a nightmare about the blue and orange lion trying to kill me on Sunday (can you just believe it? Am going to change my favorite colors).


 

No, the lion was not that cute.



Was more like, this =|



Nothing really special going on in my oh-so-awesome life. Miracles and miracles, am passing my tests in flying colors. I hope I will be able to pass Special Bacteriology on Wednesday. I have to rattafy about 100 pages tomorrow. Blah blah.

Annual Dinner might be held on this Saturday. I cannot decide what to wear, I don't do fancy, but last year I felt so under dressed. So, blue and white poncho or red and black (with a bit golden-golden something) long shirt? Gee.

It really sucks to miss someone.Changes are not usually good. I make mistake, you make mistake, I say things to hurt you, you do things to hurt me. What the hell? Let us kill the ego. You won't and neither will I.

Anyway.

That's the end of the another selfish elfish post with a touch of a weird poem. Heart you all. Yes, even you.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o