This Valentine's Day - How To Survive Being Single

Do you see red balloons, red hearts, red gift wrappers, red roses, cute teddy bears, chocolates and feel the beating hearts everywhere (now that's corny)? Yeah, yeah it's the much awaited Valentine's Day. If you are in a cute-puppy-eyes-holding-hands-OMGIloveyou relationship, yay for you, but those who are single or 'feel' single these days (happens to the best of us), I only want to say 'awwwww'. Just kidding. As I said happens to the best of us. Enjoy it while it lasts. Go on wear red (or whatever you like), eat chocolates (or whatever you like) and hang out with your friends and family (or your dogs, cats, mice and teddy bears).

Yes it may really suck when you so want a cute-puppy-eyes-holding-hands-OMGIloveyou relationship. So what you must not do:

- Don't fret over it. Couples holding hands in your college? Ouch. Bunch of roses for your best friends? Double ouch! Best friends going on a date. Oh no. But hey, don't be jealous. Realize everyone is not a (and doesn't have) Romeo/Juliet. Be patient and wait for the right person. Till then dance alone (or with your other singles friends) <-- much fun!

- Don't be a third wheel. Trust me it's going to be so much better if you hide in your closet and cry rather than hanging out with a cute-puppy-eyes-holding-hands-OMGIloveyou couple.

Told you so.

-Don't ruin things for your friends. <-- single and friendless??? No, we won't want that.

- Don't let your (annoying) friends pressurize you. Blind date? <-- Umm, no. Don't think so. If you're really desperate, like REALLY REALLY desperate, you can go (Oh, but come on!!)

- Don't send flowers to yourself just to show-off <-- everyone knows the truth anyway.

Now, what you must remember:

- Valentine's Day is not only for couples. It's for all of us. Get that?????

- You don't have to buy a special gift for the significant-other.

- You can do whatever you please. Be a slob, be fat, be thin, be cute, be grumpy, be a flirt. Nobody cares.

- Singles Awareness (or Appreciation) Day is a day for you! Now how cool is that!!!! I know, I know, it is not that cool. Still you should go on and enjoy it. You might find the love of your life celebrating it too. <-- fat chance. Huh.

- This one, I read on some site 'If you are single because of a recent loss, allow this to be a day of grieving. Do not pretend that it’s not a hard day. Get support and sympathy'.

- Valentine's Day is actually about making money. How many roses and chocolates one can sell! Go on, open a shop and get rich ASAP. Plus, as you're single you're saving money, too. Yay. <-- Yay!!!!!

- Have freaking fun with your other single friends. Or with your cat  <-- Kitty party.

- Blog about it and wait for nice comments.

Hearts for all. Happy Singles Awareness and Valentine's day.

Yes!!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)

An Ode To Smokers

Couldn't study, so wrote a poem on carcinoma. 

A stained incisor fractures your smile.
A stain on your pride, a stab on your glory.
Thick fog encircles your profile,
a dose, a dozen, to reveal your story.

You knew the risk, great was the desire,
now inhale and exhale the wrath of your lungs.
Oh, can the dying muscle not express your dire?
Flat expressions are your replacement tongues.

Open your ears and hear your breath scream,
feel the painful invasion of your body with no redeem.
An addiction, a pleasure costing a life,
today selfish excuses cut through like a knife.

Ignorance and greed take you to death,
embrace it gladly, show no contempt.
For the chances were there all the time,
had the fumes even invaded your mind?

Apples and Bananas.

February will come. It will wave a wand. I will turn 21. It will bring a huge gift wrapped in a glittering paper. All that glitter is not gold. February's gift is of the horrible kind, what makes it worse is that I didn't even ask for it. Who would want it? No candles, no surprises, no birthday cakes, no birthday caps, no birthday hugs, no birthday song, no birthday dance, no birthday laughs, no birthday pictures, no birthday at all. This year a mere text and two minutes phone call. I cannot allow more than that, for the February's gift won't let me.

#ForeverAlone

If it had arrived early then all should have been well. December came and I asked for it. It shook its head and went away. January shrugs. February sneers. No longer my month. February will come. It will wave a wand. I will turn 21. I will be handed the gift, I will tear away the glittering paper, the howling wind will greet me in a shape of exams.

Hello and goodbye.

Can I Be more depressed? Yes, it is only a birthday. I know. The thing is I have been stuck at home since October, studying and studying, because they said the exams could happen any moment. Now am a sad little zombie of a girl. 

I wait for March.

Till then I will eat apples and bananas.

No, you cannot have any.

False Hopes: The Busiest Year Ahead.

Time has sped by us once again. I look back on the night of December 31 2010 and see myself gulping down an enormous burger with a handful of garlic mayo fries, eyes on a battered Pharmacology book in one of my sticky hands and brain laboring over the names of drugs. I was determined to study till 12, afterwards what I was going to conjure up I cannot remember --> obviously I failed to invent a miraculous machine, and in its place had watched a movie and consumed some more food. I was quite sanguine. Eager for the year to start, for 2010 hadn't been kind to me. I made a couple of life-changing resolutions and same old promises to tame the bulges --> FAIL!. And I turned the age I hated #20. 

From that night to this night it has been same old me, except an year older --> and wiser and no longer much of a hopelessly optimistic idealist. However, still an idealist, I can never be a realist. It was going on well till it came crashing down and Tada! It was like 'On your face, girl!'  Thank you very much indeed.

Life is not fair, my dear.

Since I always seem to contradict them, there's no harm in making some loony resolutions.

January: Ride a camel in Sahara Desert. Stalk and make some deadly enemies. Kill the enemies. Sell the camel.
February: Visit Lake Loch Ness and look for the famous sea serpent. Make Nessie my pet.
March: Travel to Africa, sight-see and smuggle the lions and zebras to Pakistan. Gift a few lions to my loyal friends.
I seem to be obsessed with animal, don't I?
April: Take a picture underneath the northern lights (the Aurora) and pretend to be a professional photographer.  Create northern lights in Pakistan.
May:  Direct a soap opera better than Humsafar [staring Fawad Khan as a villain].
June: Take a break and trend on twitter #sidrahwhotrendedandgotfamousfornothingatall
July: Ask someone to marry me and then leave them at the altar (or rather leave them sitting on a highly decorated sofa). --> the runaway bride
August: Become a silent monk. Shave my head and give everyone a baleful stare.
September: Make a movie '2013'. With amazing 8D effects. Tagline: The world ends, once again.
October: Befriend some Eskimos. Live in a igloo and eat fish and fish and fish.
November: Run a famous jalsa like Imran Khan's PTI.
December: Don't look back. Just run forward.

The Next December.

So, I should pack my knapsack and steal a camel.

Happy new year!

Obsession - A Donut.

I broke up with my obsession yesterday. We parted on friendly terms. I thought my infatuation with Edward Norton would go on forever, however it lasted less than two weeks. After stalking him on twitter --> his tweets were really boring and didn't satisfy me at all, staring at his pictures, watching all of his movies (even the sucky ones like Death to Smoochy), and posting a really silly blogpost about him, my obsession turned into indifference. It was my first crazy celeb crush and hopefully my last. And such a relief it is. Now I can concentrate back on my plan --> taking over the world. Unfortunately my plan won't work for another thousands years. 

So, am putting Edward Norton into my secret book --> The Great Book Of Obsession (the things I obsess and dream about) by Anonymous.

It has a long lists of things Anonymous had loved and ditched over the years. The cover page also has a warning: Highly contagious. You might want to obsess yourself. If you have found it then I beg you not to read it, it will only waste your time. By the way page 107504 has the exact thing I warned you about.

Okay.

Current maddening obsessions: Peanuts. Inheritance cycle. Internet. Procrastination.

So, who went to Karachi International Bookfair? Anyone? ANYONE? I went twice, spent all my savings on just 9 books and didn't even feel satisfied. I wanted to spend the whole day there browsing and buying books if my parents had let me. I have decided I absolutely love bookfairs. Even KIBF with its snobbish highly priced load of books. Even in school when most of the kids couldn't care less, the yearly bookfair and library time were few of the things I really looked forward to (the others being: lunch break and morning presentations).

So.. I'll blog-walk for a while. I miss stalking your awesome blogs, guys. This 3 months long study-leave is not going well with me. Cannot study, cannot have fun. Sick.

May the stars watch over you. <-- a symptom of obsession with Inheritance cycle.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o    

I Am Jack's Obsession With Edward Norton

 

Isn't he the cutest?

  

Yes. I love this guy. 

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Plans, Movies and Mustaches.

I am big on making plans. Probably one of my favorite things to do. Whatever the situation is, I have got to plan. Shopping? Plan. Friends day out? Plan. Exams timetable? Plan. Decorating my boring old cupboard? Plan. I even used to have wee little colorful notebooks for jotting down my not-so-spontaneous plans, am I glad I am over those! Anyway mostly at the end of the day I feel kind of let down because things never go as you plan. My imagination has never heard of misfortunes, or if it has it tends to forget, but in reality they are bound to happen now and then. Also, I am super-lazy ass person. After spending like 13 hours on an awesome daydream, I do nothing. I get bored. So I have decided no more planning, for time being, at least.

Anyway.

Plans gone wrong.

Bollywood always fools me. After 'almost' every movie I see I say 'No way I am going to watch another bollywood movie. No, no, no, no'. Then a month later everyone's talking about this new movie which is like the most amazing movie ever and I just have to watch it. Sure, Bollywood has produced some great movies like Fashion, Dil chahta hai and Wake up, Sid (and of course the cheesiest Kuch kuch hota hai that I cannot help but love it) and many others so no offence.

Two months ago Zindagi na Milegi Dobara fooled me. Trailer was nice enough. The actual movie? It was a sheer wastage of time. Yes, it had some good one-liners, Hrithik Roshan looked hot (Katrina Kaif for some?) and the songs weren't too bad. Rest of it lingered for too long on how beautiful the world is (why not listen to Louise Armstrong's great song?), confront our fears and dance. They tried too hard to appear cool. I might even have actually liked it if the ending wasn't so bizarre -_- <-- JK, I wouldn't like it then either. And how on earth can you compare it with Dil chahta hai? It made an instant connection. ZNMD didn't. Okay. 

Last week, God, I wasted precious 3 hours of my fabulous life on Mausam. Some of my friends were like ooOooo, it's going to be BEST MOVIE EVER because Shahid Kapoor looked so sexy in mustache <-- IDK about that. I am not a fan of moustaches. They loved it. It was even worse than ZNMD. It is a drag. Imagine When Harry Met Sally, The Notebook and all those romantic movies that make you awww with Indian cheese masala. Sadly I didn't feel a thing. There was no chemistry between the leads, the length of the movie made me want to pull my hair out and cry, the real life incidents somehow managed to affect the main characters every single time, how unfortunate can you get? The Ferris wheel scene was the last straw. I was like What the hell. Shahid Kapoor with his numb arm suddenly turned into superhero. Rajinikanth is ashamed <-- and very mad, too. Keep your mustaches on. 

I want to babble about other awful movies like pyaar ka punchnama that potrayed the girls as monsters eating your heart and brain (you bad bad movie director! Most girls are normal, not alienated bitches) but maybe later.

Seriously I am NEVER going to watch another Bollywood movie. That's my plan

Because I Like Pretty Pictures.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Gun - Your New Best Friend

Guys, remember me? I used to comment on your blogs and did strangely nice posts. I have been ignoring my blog for a pretty long time now. Enough is enough. I'll write something even if it's all crap <-- now, now, it won't be that bad. 

So, how's the shopping going? Well, if you live in Karachi, forget clothes, shoes, lip-gloss, hair products and table clothes <-- this one for my mum who hasn't found her perfect table clothe since my brothers and I tore the last one. Just buy a gun and you shall be safe. Do I heard a gasp? If you can do karate like Jackie Chan,fly like power-puff girls or jump like spider-man, you're pretty much safe <-- I bet none of you can. Come on, guns are necessary for survival. You don't have to show it off to your pals, kills birds, or say humans. You need it to scare the bad people away, to defend yourself against the criminals and thieves. Plus if you buy a cowboy/girl boots and costume you can pretend to be one <-- I always wanted to do that. Let's face it, it'll be fun.


Imagine this:

.......

Lalallala. Perfect.

Happy moments! =)

P.S. Sorry, I know my doodle ain't that good. But hey, blog updated! ^^