Saturday, September 18, 2010

I Am a Supergirl With No Superpowers and Hardly Any Motivation. I Love it.

It all happened so soon. I have 5 months of being a teen and then it will be over, I will be an official grown up lady. Tada! Am not so looking forward. Is there a name of fear of turning 20? There should be. Twentyphobia? No, that is so lame. Most of you might ask 'Why?'

Because.

I won't be a teen, anymore.

There you go. This is the number one and the only reason.

No more blaming my mistakes, moodiness and ignorance on the raging hormones
Responsibilities.
Being two decades old
After 10 years I will be 30.
After 20 years I will be 40.
After 30 years.. Okay, that's enough.

It will be the so called Adult life, I don't think am ready yet. I can actually hear my mum shouting at me 'You are not a Teenager! You are 20 years old for God's sake'.

When I was 15 I had made a list on my purple diary 'Things I have to do before turning 20'. I haven't done most of the things. I can barely cook. I cannot even light the stove properly and I jump back back as soon as it lights. I don't know how to sue. I still haven't learned how to drive. I haven't done a single internship. I haven't written a book. I depend on my parents on many things, from waking up in the morning to the tea in evening. I even haven't sung a solo song in public (well, I won't ever do that).

At 15, 20 seemed far far away. At 15 I didn't give a damn how I look (only a bit). I do now, a lot. From last month I 'feel' kind of grown up. The world is not as innocent and a happy place as it had seemed. I learned things about myself I like and I don't like. I hardly share anything with my Mum now. I can tell who is going to be my friend forever and who is just here for the time being. I realized my parents used to have a life too before they had us. I might get my heart broken or I might break someone else's. Let's hope for the latter one. I know in few years I might be married and will be having babies *eek* (I just Cannot imagine That life). In few years, I will be a dentist, Insha'allah, a successful. Ahem ahem. I would love to earn some money. I also got that I will die one day *gasp*

I love who I am now, I adore my life. The night of 4th February, at 12 AM, no drastic change will occur. I wont grow taller and fatter or a responsible woman all of a sudden. I might not even notice it because I will be too excited for it will be my birthday until they bring the candles, 2 and 0 (sorry Sana, maybe I should not have brought you the candles with the cake. But you can. Yes, am counting on a surprise again).
                                                   

However, one day it is going to go. I will be another meaty lady in the midlife crisis *scream* but this is life. We age. I realize that. So at 19.5 I know I look good (at least to myself and Mum and Dad), I might have spilt ends but my hair are awesome, long and shiny and whats more I don't have to use Kala kola (I wont Ever use that!), I don't have to dab my face in makeup, I can look way better without it. I don't have to use anti-aging cream or Botox (you know Botox is actually made from a very pathological bacteria. Beware of how much you use it!). Am gonna age Gracefully. I should not worry about that now anyway. I have got many many years. Guys, love yourself and enjoy yourself. Let's be glad we are born as babies not, as grownups.

Am still dreading it.
                                                              
Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

24 comments:

quartertoinsane said...

its only premonition, u wont realized ur old until during ur midlife crises... som till den hav fun...

Salman Saeed said...

Aren't you adorable?
Seriously I also got 20 some days ago but I din't think of all this, Lol.
You are Cute. Life will still be beautiful, trust me :)
On a new level.

Nas said...

Lovely post!
Seee you actually remembered you will be turning 20 soon. I only remembered I was 20 when I walked into uni and my friends gave me a HUGE surprise.

But yes, the things you've said in the last few paragraphs I agree with. We should enjoy life not just today, but tomorrow and the day after and even after that.

Best of luck with your dreams and aspirations! May Allah enable your dreams to come true insha'Allah.

=]

Sidra Chaudhry said...

arrrrrayyyy. you're turning TWENT-EEN. don't worry too much ;) with age comes grace. lol.*hugs*

Sidrah said...

=) I just see most people changing around me.. going mature n responsible.. no more fun. Not good Oo

Nostalgic said...

Now this is some WOW post! Loved going through it. Babe, you need not to worry about your age, you're only growing prettier :)

Haha, I have that list too. And trust me, I stay miles away from kitchen and all the house hold chores (my guy hates me for that, nevermind ;) .. ) Well, I have 2 years to go =D I'll make it InshAllah. 5 months is a long time, you could learn driving and cooking meanwhile.

Sorry for being away from your place for a while. I AM BACK. Muaaness. Love! <3

majworld said...

happy bday in advance :)..nd liked this post of urs..may be now u r stepping in to real life :)..gudluck for all the wishes and aims in next few years..

Bea said...

aww.. that was cuteness unlimited!

Outlandish Ann said...

Wow! Okay! I didn't feel a thing when I turned 20. Nah. Nothing. Zilch. And now, I'm going to be 21 in two months time... Still feeling nothing.. :P

I can't stop laughing at this line: "I realized my parents used to have a life too before they had us." Seriously, man. So true.

nZ! said...

I turned twenty without even having a single thought about it, I never was a very teeny teen anyway :p.. and now I'd be turning 22 in a few months, Gosh! I'm old :$

Loved the post btw...

Sidrah said...

@nostalgic
am just too lazy :s but i will! =)

@majworld n bea
thanku =)

@outlandish n nZ
lucky you, guys! i wish i wont feel a thing too.. but I think i will =o

<3

Hafsah said...

i felt like a 19 yrz old before my 20th bday, i cried da nite before my Bday, n i woke up on my bday feelin like a 12 yrz old. sometimes i think wot does the term mature means? i respect whoever deserves it, act crazy infront of doz who dnt mind, talk sensible (n sing songs infront of doz who can tolerate).. isnt dat enuff? i just think dat its da best time of life, wid parents, dpeendant on dem yet feelin independant. loved cared n taunted like hell. screw 20.. 20 is the new 12.. i still hv 6 yrz...n den? 18 till i die... yeaaaa :D

ph_the princess said...

awesome post .. because aging crises are what we all suffer and secondly it kind of was my thoughts well elaborated (leaving the being dentist part ) :) thank you for that :)
Still a year and a few months to go before I step out of my teens *no sighs* .. Just that ofcourse I'll be saying bye bye to all the teenage charm I feel there will be a lot more to offer in the world that I would enjoy the change....
hopefully inshallah :D

Aging gracefully is what it counts isn't it ? As you've written and as I say I know myself enough not to be a *meaty lady* type neither the NOW ADAYS typical women type .. I know I'll be decent :P and hey you too :D You have a great choice , a great mind to save yourself from disastrous aging :p
Happy soon to be twenties to you :)

Americanising Desi said...

ufff abhi se rona :P

think about me approaching 30 - know how that feels?

xehra said...

lololololololololol =P Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! embrace it as quickly as possible =P The countdown has started :E eheehehe!

Sidrah said...

@hafsah
that's the spirit! =D

@pH
you got it right =D
please don't say sooon to be.. I have 5 months =o

@amercanising desi
oops =|

@xehra
you are one evil girl Oo

ph_the princess said...

correction later to be :D

Komal Ali said...

This is one of the most entertaining posts I've read in a long, long time. :)
Make-up is overrated, I think.
Why eek at babies? :O
I love 'em. :)

Najwa Pervin said...

I've lately been depressed about being 22 too ! I mean Im just 8 years away from the dreaded 30's !! The middle age ! Life's gonna be so boring then :( but then again I guess every age has its own charm !

Sidrah said...

@pH
=D

@komal
thanku ^^ i LOVE babies too <3 but i cant imagine have them, now =P

@najwa
it won't be boring if we are still fun =)
<3

Tazeen said...

Heheheh! This post is so awesome! :D Umm... I'm going to 20 next June and I had a list of things to do before I turned twenty (I made it when I was 17 I guess). Surprisingly, I've done most things on it and I didn't even know! :o

So... I think that if you still can't cook, try making one little thing in the kitchen just so you could scratch off something from that list! :D It'll be adventure, really! You could involve some friends.

And I'm glad we were all born as babies!

P.S.: I hate make-up too! :O

Sidrah said...

@tazeen
I can cook a bit, like spaghetti n rice =) but I wanna do the real cooking =D

You have almost an year =o
hope you get to do everything in the list!

<3

Sidrah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sana Castellano said...

We will have tea parties no matter how old we get. Take it from an old 20 year old *me* , 20 ain't so bad as we thought it'd be.. *forever 16 - that's our motto*

Let's plan two grand birthdays. Yours and mine. You'll be 20 =D And I'll come-of-age.. 21.
=( My before 20 list lies ignored in the dust.. But we'll do 'em before we strike 30! =D
woohoo.