Saturday, August 28, 2010

Patience Pills and Lipgloss

Beware! This is going to be another random weirdish selfish elfish post. Enough of -ish.

Yesterday I kept bugging my parents until they took me out to shop. We couldn't go to the place we want to because the buses were burning there (Karachi is so hot!).We got stuck in traffic for like 2 hours. My dad got cranky and started grumbling. I went all emo, no patients pills for a girl like me. My mum was like let's go back home. This annoyed me more. I was on a brink of rudeness when we found a parking space (double parking, by the way). I was the excited happy little elf all over again. Until my mum said don't take too long in choosing the dress. You got emo me. I get emo, too, you know now. Shops after shops, no wonder dress for me. Seriously, whoever design those dresses had no idea of the color combination. Yellow and purple, reminds me of Barney. Yes, I know Barney has no yellow in him, but it just did. Am not a big fan of Barney.I have issues. Pink and green, reminds me of barney again (just kidding). Defeated, we decided to go back. When my dad spotted a shop, just in the front of our car! I cannot believe we overlooked it before. Maybe it magically appeared. Unemoed I went inside, hope bursting out from my heart. I got it! It was a good, good shop. Awesome dresses in reasonable prices (my dad was happy when he saw the dresses I chose had no tag of Rs. 10000000 or other such absurd prices). Then we went home and lived happily ever after.

Until this evening.

My parents are being lazy again. I need shoes, I need different shades of nail color. I need a USB. I need some funky jewellery. I need many other things. They say I need patience pills and they are probably right which is annoying.


What were my parents used to be before they became parents? Aliens of the rural areas of Pluto? OMG. It is not even a planet anymore! Are only mine like this? Please say no or I might just die. Oh, I do heart my parents, very much, but they can be a pain in the neck. I guess, they feel the same about me. Am no angel. However, am going to be a cool mum.

I wish this picture had a grumpy dad too.

I wish I had a sister. Make it 5 sisters. Then it would be fun shopping. My friends live too far away, can't shop every time with them *sigh*

But then again, I would have to share my things with my sisters, so that's all right. I can live.

Looking forward to Wednesday =) Sana and BFG are coming over my place for Iftaari. I miss them, and the fun we have <3

I don't know what lipgloss is doing on the title post. I don't need it *shrug*

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Friday, August 27, 2010

The Window

Drip drop… Drip Drop... Drip Drop…

Gloria couldn’t sleep. The sound of rain was comforting to her ears but it made her stay awake, made her want to listen to it. She tossed and turned, pressing the pillow against her ear, hoping the sound would fade and she could sleep. It did become muffled, yet it was still there.

Her eyes traveled in the darkness of her room, searching for clues. She felt restless as if something was going to happen and she couldn’t wait. She prayed to God that this time it would be something good. Hadn’t she had the very same feeling 5 months ago on that cursed stormy night? And look what happened then. But Gloria didn’t want to think about that now. She knew this was her lucky night. The rain didn’t seem malicious… it sounded friendly. A good omen. The clock on the side table read 4:30 AM. Soon the sun would rise, hiding shyly behind the dark clouds. It’ll be a new day. Her eyes stopped on the window, the golden framed window. It was calling her. She had to go.

Not bothering to switch on the lamp, she groped for her clutches. Her mother was right; she should always keep them beside her bed. Gingerly she let herself fall from the bed and landed with a light thud on the floor. She could feel the cold metal against her thigh. There they are…Just under the bed. Silly me.

With the help of her clutches Gloria walked to the Golden Window. She pressed her face against the cool glass. She could see the tree which she always thought was a bit sinister. Surprisingly, Gloria didn’t think so now. Why its huge dark leaves scared her ever? Why wouldn’t she climb on its strong trunks to scare the birds away? Why wouldn’t she go even near it when others of her age would be playing and building a tree house? The way the tree was dancing in the wind, it looked frail. Not a bit strong or evil. I hope it falls…tonight. She knew it was mean of her to wish so, but maybe then she could go out.

How long it had been since she set her foot out of her home? Her life had become like a ghost town. Once alive and glittering, now dead and dull. Where did all those people go who were supposed to be her friends? The people who were the glitter of her world? She could tell. The lovely clothes, awesome shoes, glossy make up and chic handbags were in her closet, rotting in their own way. The shiny materials were of no use for her now. Maybe one day they would be, but at least not today. The spark was lost.


It was June.

Gloria looked at shoulder and smiled faintly, motioning her to come in.

‘You’re awake’ June gazed at her. Her face showed no sign of emotion. Gloria nodded and touched her sister’s cheek, it was apple cold.

‘It’s raining’ June said in a monotone, her emerald green eyes piercing hers. Gloria wondered at her sister’s neutrality and looked back at the window. A sudden clap of thunder shook them both.

‘Gloria’ June whispered. She knew what June was thinking about, that night when all of her doors got closed. ‘It’ll be alright. You know that, don’t you?’

Gloria smiled and ruffled June’s hair. Long, shiny and silky. She knew what her own will feel like; the blunt stubble will graze her hand. But they will grow back. The honey blonde curls will frame her heart shaped again. Her blue eyes will sparkle like stars and her cherry red smile will light her face. She was going to break some more hearts. Gloria smiled.

‘I just had a dream’ June’s voice brought her back to earth. Gloria raised her eyebrows.

‘I.. I saw..’ her face was scrunched up, mind searching for the right words. Taking a deep breathe, she said, her face calm, ‘Forget the dream. Imagine. You’re walking, the wind is pulling you down... Trying to stop you. You’ll not, you don’t give up. You get injured, you go weak. But you don’t let go. You want to reach your destination and nothing can stop you. Not the strong currents, the storms, the people… and nor the huge stupid trees. You keep walking, determined. And you win.’ After a pause she added, ‘You have not lost your voice, forever.’

Gloria sighed inwardly and smiled wryly. Hair could grow, but can her voice? Who knows? She was alive and being loved by the ones who cared, and that matters the most right now. Life could not be perfect at it used to be, but it was free of the entire fake.

Gloria looked at the Golden Window; the tiny droplets were caressing the glass. The sky was crying the last of its tears… at least for tonight.

She was locked in a room with no doors or windows. She was suffocating, rotting and being wasted. Now one window had appeared to her rescue. The rest will open slowly, leading her to the Door. Unlocked. Or maybe not.

My eyes hurt because of the sunlight and I squint. I walk slowly. It feels weird walking without the clutches, but good weird. I feel free. I walk to the huge tree, you know it doesn’t scare me anymore. Yes, it doesn’t. I sit under its cool shadow. Am I not glad it didn’t fall!

Today June made me get rid of my purple nightie which I’d been wearing since two weesk. Like a big scary nun, she forced me to take a long bath. She locked me for 2 hours. I felt new. Then I got into my yellow flowery sundress. It used to be my favorite. It still is. My hair hasn’t fully grown, but in a few months they’ll be. Right now a hat will do. Now letting my eyes wander around the park I wonder is it really 10 months? I cannot believe. Nothing has changed. Children playing noisily, mothers walking with their babies on prams, a few people reading, a young couple kissing on a bench. It has always been like this. Except me. I have changed. My voice isn’t back. It won’t be. Life goes on. I’m fine and happy.

I re-posted it because nobody read it before except Sana =| do read this time! Or I will post it again. *evil* =)
Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Elf goes Pink again!

UPDATE: I have changed it. I like Cute, too =o

OMG! It is Pink again (not my color) and the layout doesn't really go with the title. However I like it, I like colorful and neat (is this neat?). Don't be surprised if you find the old template back, though.

I have been very busy (usually doing nothing). I hadn't had a wink of sleep on Sunday night. I went to college looking like a zombie, came back home, tried to sleep but could not. I slept around at 4:00 AM yesterday. Finally. It was horrible. It was like I had forgotten how to sleep, and oh, I missed Sehri and college today.

It will be raining Module Tests from thursday till God knows when. Pathology, Pharmacology, Oral Anatomy and Community Dentistry define my life these days. Thousands of diseases to study, millions of drugs to memorize and to understand their mechanism of actions is pure torture! Rattafying tooth morphology is my least favourite. Oral Anatomy, you suck. We have trips in Communty Dentistry, which were only fun at first, we go to schools, colleges and camps to check kid's oral hygiene. Most of them make me wish I wasn't studying BDS. "People, there'a a thing called toothbrush" I want to scream. Some of the little kids are real cute though, if you don't mind their oral cavity.
I wish I were a chef instead of a medical student. I love food. I have promised myself - right now - I will take cooking classes as soon as I am done with college.


I am feeling good enough but unreal. There's a strange buzz going on around me and the things don't seem bright, they are unnaturally dull. It's like I am underwater. So heavy. I have a sore throat too.

Eid is not far. I haven't started shopping yet thanks to my lazy parents. My list which I had so lovingly written seems useless, I have changed my mind, I don't want those sutff now. I will be spontaneous. I will buy what I like right then! (If my parents allow)

Serendipity is a nice movie (yes, I have seen it Now). I have a crush on younger John Cusack *sigh* ..Reading Dan Brown's Digital Fortress. He writes awfully good.

I love good pictures Oo

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Height of Brutality (Sialkot incident)

I wish I had not seen it. Don't tell me you did not cry (or wanted to) after watching the video of Sialkot incident. The gruesome murder of those two innocent brothers (one of them Hafiz-e-Quran) is horrifying. The maniacs, had they no fear of Allah? How can a human being commit such horrendous act? The corrupted police forces of our country can do anything for money. The dear policemen Helped the mob instead of saving the boys. Even if the boys were thieves, which they were NOT, the villagers (or whoever they were) had no right to torture to death them like this. You want justice done, follow Islam and its rule, do not make your own. You cannot take two human lives so brutally. Plus the people watching and busy making videos in the crowd, they could have stopped if they wanted to. No one stepped out and helped. How can they watch it! The boys must be fasting, the animals killed them in daytime before Iftaar. My heart goes out to their family. What they have got to live for now? Pain and anger. Their grandfather in the interview, said in tears even the butchers don't kill the animals like his grandsons were killed.

I pray those evil bastards get hanged to death. Sounds evil but they do not deserve to live. They had planned this murder. The shameless crowd should be punished too.

May Allah give strength to their family and the souls of the boys rest in peace in heaven. Amen

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Realization (one minute long)

As I have nothing better to do, I keep checking the remaining battery of my laptop, that's how dull my life is this minute. Days pass in a blur, I am pretty much busy, I keep doing my daily stuff with no real interest, I am in black and white. Then, when the time slows down at a certain point, when I am stuck in that minute, I see some colors, I realize there is more than just living my daily routine. Things waiting to be uncovered, places to go, people to meet and love. Life cannot be only about studying, eating food, being with your family and friends, reading, watching movies and sleeping, can it be? I cannot be in black and white. I know I have other colors waiting to be washed in. I check the battery again (73 % remaining by the way), I am in this minute now, the moment has got some hold on me. I can think but not move on. I need some change, good change. I want to know why I am here and more important, who I really am. Who knows I might be a real elf?!

Life is about waiting and being patient ..this sucks, usually, you know. Who really lives in present? We are always worried (or excited?) about our future. We can't forget our dear past. Maybe this is how it is supposed to be. Maybe not. I hope not.

I see people claiming to be in love when it is only infatuation, girls trying to diet and eat at the same time (count me in), people bitching about their friends, people desperately waiting to be in love, people in funny relationships where there is no love nor any respect, kids demanding too much from their parents, hearts getting broken, tears of joy, new love, hope, fear, anger and revenge. There is a sort of longing in us. all the time, hardly any satisfaction. When we get what we have longed for, we forget and cry for something else. Humane, I guess

Why am I scared of spiders when I know they cannot hurt me? I want to overcome this fear. Just a tiny start.

Not a very happy-little-me post. Oh no.

Anyway. I want to change the layout. Pink isn't my color, I uploaded this one because it is neat.. I like neat. Watched Killers last night, it was not that good as I thought it would be. Ashton Kutcher is still cute, though. Watched Shutter Island few days ago. Oh, I Loved it! *grin*

I am making a list of things I want to get for Eid, I am afraid it keeps getting longer and longer.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Monday, August 16, 2010

Wonderfully Random - A Wonder

A wonder tear drops from the sky
The stars laugh, and they die
The beauty of moon is the sun's gift
The fallen angels will never lift
Love flows from the heart
You can drown and be its part
Go, catch a fallen star,
it won't burn you
Go, travel the universe
in every hue
Color your dreams, not just in black and white
Let it be red, blue, green, every dark and light

Yay! Its Ramadan ^^ How is it going? I feel this holy month flies away real fast. Before you know it it will be Eid.


Yes, am no supergirl out to save the world, no child prodigy, not a hottie, no beautiful voice, am not sugar, spice and every nice, get it.. but I think in my own my little way, in my own little world, I have made a wonderful mark which has made me Wonderfully Random. I know there are some people who cannot imagine life without little Me.. and that makes me happy. This goes for all of us! From now on, you are not just a random person living an average life, you are wonderfully random.. Wonderful for your loved ones!

Love yourself  =)

Happy Ramadan! Eat lots of fruit chaat, dahi barey and pakore! Never forget to thank Allah.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Being One

We had been celebrating Independence Day for 3 days in college. It was green clothes, green jewellery, green scarfs and even green cakes! It seemed nice but was it real or we did that for fun? I guess for fun. Do you feel you are a Pakistani anymore? The spirit has gone. We were supposed to be one, 'The Pakistanis', not Sindhi, Punjabi, Balochi and Pakhtuns. We have created walls between us for some land and money which won't last. Can we trust anyone to help us if we need it? The securities are bribed and the outlaws are supported. People kill people brutally, little girls are being raped, innocents get tortured for the crimes they don't want to commit.. the hopeless widows and orphans can only cry. Who cares? Not happening to us, is it? A crash, a flood, an earthquake, we are out to steal the belongings of others. A shoe on a face, not going to solve any problem, not even a thousand shoes. It cannot be that one person's fault. It is all of us, lost in our self-loving, egotistic, grudging and stingy glamour.

We can start from being one, believing in being one, let's just be the Pakistanis, not Sindhi, Pakhtuns, Balochi and Punjabi. Is that hard? How can you be better than the other one? Allah created all of us and we are equal.


New forward: The Land of Happiness - Our Pakistan

We are happy:

when electricity comes
we come home alive and uninjured after shopping
we get a seat in a public bus
we see our cell and wallet in our pockets/bags after getting off the bus
allowance of double sawari and dinner in weddings after a long time (on and off)
we see our slippers still there outside the mosque
no 'khud-kash hamla' in the mosque you were offering prayers

Pure Bliss =]

P.S. I want to say alot of things and I don't want to say them. I hate politics! I hate this weird Pakistan now. I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy... ahem ahem.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Big-ish Day

Finally, after the rain, bad halat of Karachi and whatever, tomorrow is the BIG day, our effin Poster Competition. I will post the pictures tomorrow on this post =) ..please like ours the best!

We are all ready for it! Submitted the poster today. It is a bit glittery, nice red, black and cute yellow! There is this silver Mr. Tooth who is Gay and looks handsome with its little red bow.

and.. (let's talk about me).. I have painted my nails a funky shade of coffee, my new dress is waiting to be worn, studied a bit too (dental fluorosis is not that interesting). The new purse Hafsah gifted me is too small so I cannot take it (my ugly black n white bag will do). Asma is supposed to bring matching earrings for me =/ I hope she won't forget! So If we won't win, at least we will look good!

Asma might also give her birthday treat ^^ that means trip to the mall! Yay .. we will have to buy gifts for her? Oh no.

One thing: Real friends are NOT supposed to betray! No cheating allowed. Friendship is way more important than Rs 5000 (isnt it?) TRUST is like a paper, once crumpled, it won't be PERFECT again. Value your friends, don't get so low for money. Let's be good

Friendship Is Precious. Heart it.
Update: We didn't win but still it was good fun .. we did look good. So here's the picture!
Our Gay Mr. Tooth!

And.. our poster.. =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Laughter Just Bubbles Up!

My little brother came up to me and told a sad news. His 2 days old yellow chick had died. I started laughing (how evil). My brother looked shocked. It was just that I felt so sorry for him that I had to laugh. God knows why it happened.

A woman after attending a funeral of her mother was on her way home, news came her father had also died. She laughed for 2 good hours. Don't tell anyone but this woman was my grandma.

Once in 4th grade, a teacher was scolding me, I burst out laughing loudly - I thought he looked like a monkey from Dexter. Eek.

And sometimes on lame things like.. 'am on a diet;.. 'I love you with all my heart' .. 'how do I look?' (my mum laughs Every time I ask her), when some one slips, on a stupid joke..sooo many things!

See.. laughter just bubbles up - on inappropriate moments too

We don't have to learn it, we are born with this capacity. - do you know how do apes laugh? They pant! Laughter is contagious. Whenever I hear my father laugh (often over a silly thing on news) I start to giggle At his laughter -sounds so funny! My mum goes tomato red when she laughs, and most of the time my brothers and I are laughing at her redness.

My university friends, Hafsah, Asma and I have this great 'Our Song' 'Anu malik's Dekho Baarish Horehi Hai'.... the song goes like 'Dekho baarish horehi hai.. it's raining, it's raining.. dard horaha hai.. it's paining, it's paining'

Dumb, right? It makes us laugh, simple!

It is so lame that we actually sing it (with our own lyrics).. be it anything. On Hafsah' s brother wedding we sang 'dekho shadi horehi hai'.. we have created full songs (there's a exam songs, cafe song, fail song, anger song and even a baby birth song). If I post, my blog will be R-rated -___-

We saw its video after 1.5 year of Hafsah's raving (she had introduced us to this song). We couldn't stop laughing. One of our friends laughed so loud that we thought she's being murdered. If you are retarded like us and laugh at lame stuff, do watch its video. What was that guy thinking?
We find it awfully funny. It is one of those things.

...ahem ahem...

I read somewhere that 'Laughter is a celebration of Good'. So do it often =] It brings us joy, makes us feel lighter, we look prettier, its playful and Fun! We have cried after laughing.. ah, emotional moments... and laughed after crying.. happens alot. I do feel better, refreshed.. anew.

When do you laugh??

P.S it is raining so hard.. Ask for forgiveness! Allah bless us.

P.S2. I bought a rusty colored CUTE dress today.. *smile* ..and I walked in rain, a bit. It was awesome!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Saturday, August 7, 2010

A Loner

Alone he is, a goon
He lives in a circle
Curled up in his own cocoon
Happiness he drives away
No voice who croons
Satisfaction inhabits this loner
Change he might, not soon

.....*ahem ahem*....

Anyway. Something always happens when we are supposed to meet, Sana and I. Today the sun decided to hide and clouds wept. I Love the Rain but today it made me kind of mad. Oh well. We did meet, had awesome fun =) *Happy Dance*

..Next time am going to do a happy post  =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Their Happily Ever After

After the end, it began
The princess had one complain
Fairy tale is a mocking lie
The prince couldn't afford a sigh
No more of a fond glance
Only despair and silence

Some love did exist in her soul
She was lost in her own turmoils
He was not happy to pretend
No solace nor any delight
Spark was lost, the moment had fled
Bound together, anxious to be freed

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Such Awesomeness

So I came across this site called '1000 awesome things' ...and it was awesome!

Few things I find really awesome are:

- When I paint my nails (of both hands!) and they look Perfectly amazing. A Perfect Hair day. Perfect Kohl on Eyes (mostly it looks a if someone has given me the black eye!). Happens rarely.

- The relief when you get home, throw your shoes away and lie (anywhere!) after a long tiring day

- When only I Know the answer in the whole class. Gets embarrassing but we all have our moments.

- Teachers decide to take the day off. Or walking into the class and seeing the substitute teacher,
- When I am able to walk 1 hour and avoid yummy stuff for a day. Mission accomplished.

- Getting into your old dying comfy clothes (your mum hates it)

- The happy Friday feeling,

- A nice long chat with my parents and brothers before going to bed (ending without quarreling. Awesome).

- When a baby decides it likes you.

- When my dreams come true (it happens to me all the time. Small blurry meaningless things I see in sleep comes true!)

- The night before the Big day. Hyper and excited.

- Eating popcorns. Making your own breakfast once in a while. Evening tea. Surprise gifts, call (or a text). Surprise slumber party?

- A perfect calm day with your friends.

Oh no, this is getting long, so many awesome things... but lets wind up.. last one:

- Listening to songs that remind me of old happy (and sad) memories. Some of them are:

1. One Heart and Nelly Furtado's Powerless remind me of school days and afterwards. Got my first cellphone, made my ID on orkut (it sucks now, though), I lost all the baby fat (it was the BEST thing!), BFG became one of my best friends and countless more.

2. HSM's Everyday .. Ahh Zac Efron. We were totally crushed. The song is awesome. long, tiring and funny college days. Good old stadium, Ms Pink's library, burning hot ground, crowy trees, talent shows on benches, dizwom-wifey girls... Miss those days.

3. Within Temptation's Angels - after college, made my 1st blog, 17 turns 18, makes me miss the person who has changed alot =/

These days my Life's theme song is Breathe 2 Am.. Old song, but I Love it =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Evil Inside

No matter how nice and pleasant we appear we all do have an evil streak in us. Humans are not perfect. I guess it is the cause of violence and cruelty in our world. The tangible strong force is not external, it is in our minds, when there is light, there are shadows too. Everything has to be balanced. But, hey, we choose our own thoughts. Anybody can plunge a knife in someone's heart (OMG), however, what set us apart is our choices. We can do it, but we choose not to. Henry Jekyll decided to suppress his evilness and when given the chance he showed it in the form of Mr. Hyde (all about it is here). Evil thoughts are manifested by us, by believing in evil you actually create it (Edgar Cayce)

Yes, you might not agree, but this is what I believe. Even the nicest person in the whole world can be pissed off about something and lose his temper. It depends on our control. As they say "When anger rises, think of the consequences"

Let's try to ignore the guy on our left shoulder =) and kill him slowly =o ... think good, good follows. Think evil, evil follows.

Going to call my friend and then gonna watch There's Something About Mary =) I like Cameron Diaz (she looks a bit like Donald Duck O.o)

Night Night =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Monday, August 2, 2010

Slumber Party!?

WOW... What a day it turned out to be! We completed our poster and because of stupid halat of lovely Karachi my friends can't go home!! So we are having a slumber party.. *happy dance*

We are eating spaghetti and we are tired as hell but we are going to have fun! weeeeee o(^_^)o

Our poster looks cute (like me). Thank God it is completed. I cannot post a picture, one of you could be the spy =o so picture after the competition ^_^

Gotta go now.. lalalallala!!

Sidrah xx 0(^-^)o