Mothball Moons

I dreamed that I have been transported into another world (just like the way Lyra did in His Dark Materials). The only striking difference was the moon. It was bigger than ours, so big that you could touch it. That's it. It was nice though. *The moon felt somewhat like a mothball.* I was all, 'How did this happen? How did this happen?'. Nobody answered. Whenever I have a strangely nice dream I like to think I am astral projecting (which I never do). Google it. Anyway, when I woke up I had my mind made up to explore the dark and narrow worlds of Endodontics. My daily dose of caffeine did not do the trick and I yawned my way into the Internet where I, for no specific reason at all, googled Mona Lisa and pretended to be interested in that mysterious (creepy?) smile of hers. She does look like a man. One link branched into another and the end result was 20 something tabs. Three hours have passed since then and I am still googling weird things and downloading eBooks (I haven't read a single book by Catherynne M. Valente but I am pretty sure I'll love them. Hence, this downloading spree). I must stop.

2013 is almost on our doorstep, my 22nd birthday is horribly close, and the world did not end last week. *I was not so secretly hoping for Nibiru Cataclysm.* The world is well and alive and I am merely an exam away from being a classy dentist. Tsk.. People hate dentists. Hold onto your teeth, people. Or not. Eat chocolates, sticky candies and paan, don't brush your teeth, pray for caries, pray that your 3rd molars erupt to gift you with full fledged wisdom and unbearable pain and other dental disasters. When such disastrous happenings take place, remember me.


Now I'll have an unusually long lunch that will last an episode of Breaking Bad. Then maybe I'll open up my books and study for the finals (after thoroughly dusting them. Sneeze, sneeze).

Happy new year.

=)

Between Dog And Wolf

Warning: Okay, this is a very weird, creepy, unlike me post. So if you are planning to fall in love with me I say don't read it. But you will. You curious lot. Sigh. 

And if you guys have it too, let's talk about it over a cup of coffee. Just kidding. We should ignore each other and spare the awkwardness.

Go away. Now.

Ever got trapped in your own body?  I don’t know many people who have this horrible condition I have thanks to my mum’s genes. Sleep Paralysis. This spooky hereditary disorder sounds intriguing.  It has all the classic signs and symptoms of a terrifying nightmare:

-          You can’t breathe.

-          You can’t move.

-          You can’t speak

-          Intense fear.

-          This awful feeling of someone doing gymnastics on your body.

-          Sometimes a tearing pain will pass through you.

-          And sometimes you will vibrate like your cell phone.

-          You might hallucinate. Catch a glimpse of a spirit, ghost, beast  or your own self

-          A certain sense of an evil presence surrounds you.

-          Astral project into the other worlds. At least some people claim to.

-          Lucid dreaming. 

I was 11 when I first experience the ghastly Sleep Paralysis.  Now, 10 years later (or is it 11? I suck at math) it still happens, frequently.  Okay. 

As much as I like to think that it is a group of alien experimenting on me OR an old hag has taken a fancy to me OR a person has created my voodoo doll – it’s not that interesting after all. UnFortunately, it has a scientific explanation (to my relief and disappointment!). No paranormal stuff like black magic... Or is it? I am doubtful. 

Sleep Paralysis occurs due to this random mis-transmission of chemicals. Your body is all ZzZzZz and your mind is like O_O and these things you see and feel are just in your imagination.You are between the states of consciousness and unconsciousness. 

So after battling with insomnia (or rather sleep-phobia) and caffeine addiction I am finally getting over it.  They say just go with the flow, scrunch up your face and wriggle your toes. You will be okay in a few minutes. Or…

You’ll die from Sudden Unexplained Nocturnal Death Syndrome (SUNDS) True Story. 

Now I'll go to bed. I hope it won't happen..

But It Will. 

The Bitter Post

12: 20 AM

I Don't Even Like This Cat.

It’s quite funny when you are really desperate for distractions there seem to be nothing around. 

No friends.

No internet.

No exasperating brothers and dynamic parents.

No yummy food in the fridge to release gluttonous, jovial hormones.

No season 11 of Friends.  How much I miss my virtual BFFs and the love of my life, Chandler Bing!

No interesting eBooks to imprison the mind.

No Feel-good movies. 

No OPDs where you can take your frustrations out by extracting a tooth.  (Or get more frustrated by failing to).

No mind-numbing, early morning lectures which very effectively awaken the zombie in me.

No assignment and test to make me undergo procrastination. 

No catchy songs I can perform bhangra to.  

No bodies to hide. Who should I kill next? Hmm. 

It’s just my dying laptop, WordPad and me. (Yes, not even Microsoft office 2007, it bitches about the key all the time).

And it’s Sunday tomorrow, the day I am not friends with.

I shall post the bitter post on my blog when disloyal internet works.  A whiny post is a great post to revive your dead blog.  Okay, too much usage of the word ‘post’. 

Who knows when we meet again? Till then, farewell.

                                                                                                                  

This Valentine's Day - How To Survive Being Single

Do you see red balloons, red hearts, red gift wrappers, red roses, cute teddy bears, chocolates and feel the beating hearts everywhere (now that's corny)? Yeah, yeah it's the much awaited Valentine's Day. If you are in a cute-puppy-eyes-holding-hands-OMGIloveyou relationship, yay for you, but those who are single or 'feel' single these days (happens to the best of us), I only want to say 'awwwww'. Just kidding. As I said happens to the best of us. Enjoy it while it lasts. Go on wear red (or whatever you like), eat chocolates (or whatever you like) and hang out with your friends and family (or your dogs, cats, mice and teddy bears).

Yes it may really suck when you so want a cute-puppy-eyes-holding-hands-OMGIloveyou relationship. So what you must not do:

- Don't fret over it. Couples holding hands in your college? Ouch. Bunch of roses for your best friends? Double ouch! Best friends going on a date. Oh no. But hey, don't be jealous. Realize everyone is not a (and doesn't have) Romeo/Juliet. Be patient and wait for the right person. Till then dance alone (or with your other singles friends) <-- much fun!

- Don't be a third wheel. Trust me it's going to be so much better if you hide in your closet and cry rather than hanging out with a cute-puppy-eyes-holding-hands-OMGIloveyou couple.

Told you so.

-Don't ruin things for your friends. <-- single and friendless??? No, we won't want that.

- Don't let your (annoying) friends pressurize you. Blind date? <-- Umm, no. Don't think so. If you're really desperate, like REALLY REALLY desperate, you can go (Oh, but come on!!)

- Don't send flowers to yourself just to show-off <-- everyone knows the truth anyway.

Now, what you must remember:

- Valentine's Day is not only for couples. It's for all of us. Get that?????

- You don't have to buy a special gift for the significant-other.

- You can do whatever you please. Be a slob, be fat, be thin, be cute, be grumpy, be a flirt. Nobody cares.

- Singles Awareness (or Appreciation) Day is a day for you! Now how cool is that!!!! I know, I know, it is not that cool. Still you should go on and enjoy it. You might find the love of your life celebrating it too. <-- fat chance. Huh.

- This one, I read on some site 'If you are single because of a recent loss, allow this to be a day of grieving. Do not pretend that it’s not a hard day. Get support and sympathy'.

- Valentine's Day is actually about making money. How many roses and chocolates one can sell! Go on, open a shop and get rich ASAP. Plus, as you're single you're saving money, too. Yay. <-- Yay!!!!!

- Have freaking fun with your other single friends. Or with your cat  <-- Kitty party.

- Blog about it and wait for nice comments.

Hearts for all. Happy Singles Awareness and Valentine's day.

Yes!!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)

An Ode To Smokers

Couldn't study, so wrote a poem on carcinoma. 

A stained incisor fractures your smile.
A stain on your pride, a stab on your glory.
Thick fog encircles your profile,
a dose, a dozen, to reveal your story.

You knew the risk, great was the desire,
now inhale and exhale the wrath of your lungs.
Oh, can the dying muscle not express your dire?
Flat expressions are your replacement tongues.

Open your ears and hear your breath scream,
feel the painful invasion of your body with no redeem.
An addiction, a pleasure costing a life,
today selfish excuses cut through like a knife.

Ignorance and greed take you to death,
embrace it gladly, show no contempt.
For the chances were there all the time,
had the fumes even invaded your mind?

Apples and Bananas.

February will come. It will wave a wand. I will turn 21. It will bring a huge gift wrapped in a glittering paper. All that glitter is not gold. February's gift is of the horrible kind, what makes it worse is that I didn't even ask for it. Who would want it? No candles, no surprises, no birthday cakes, no birthday caps, no birthday hugs, no birthday song, no birthday dance, no birthday laughs, no birthday pictures, no birthday at all. This year a mere text and two minutes phone call. I cannot allow more than that, for the February's gift won't let me.

#ForeverAlone

If it had arrived early then all should have been well. December came and I asked for it. It shook its head and went away. January shrugs. February sneers. No longer my month. February will come. It will wave a wand. I will turn 21. I will be handed the gift, I will tear away the glittering paper, the howling wind will greet me in a shape of exams.

Hello and goodbye.

Can I Be more depressed? Yes, it is only a birthday. I know. The thing is I have been stuck at home since October, studying and studying, because they said the exams could happen any moment. Now am a sad little zombie of a girl. 

I wait for March.

Till then I will eat apples and bananas.

No, you cannot have any.

False Hopes: The Busiest Year Ahead.

Time has sped by us once again. I look back on the night of December 31 2010 and see myself gulping down an enormous burger with a handful of garlic mayo fries, eyes on a battered Pharmacology book in one of my sticky hands and brain laboring over the names of drugs. I was determined to study till 12, afterwards what I was going to conjure up I cannot remember --> obviously I failed to invent a miraculous machine, and in its place had watched a movie and consumed some more food. I was quite sanguine. Eager for the year to start, for 2010 hadn't been kind to me. I made a couple of life-changing resolutions and same old promises to tame the bulges --> FAIL!. And I turned the age I hated #20. 

From that night to this night it has been same old me, except an year older --> and wiser and no longer much of a hopelessly optimistic idealist. However, still an idealist, I can never be a realist. It was going on well till it came crashing down and Tada! It was like 'On your face, girl!'  Thank you very much indeed.

Life is not fair, my dear.

Since I always seem to contradict them, there's no harm in making some loony resolutions.

January: Ride a camel in Sahara Desert. Stalk and make some deadly enemies. Kill the enemies. Sell the camel.
February: Visit Lake Loch Ness and look for the famous sea serpent. Make Nessie my pet.
March: Travel to Africa, sight-see and smuggle the lions and zebras to Pakistan. Gift a few lions to my loyal friends.
I seem to be obsessed with animal, don't I?
April: Take a picture underneath the northern lights (the Aurora) and pretend to be a professional photographer.  Create northern lights in Pakistan.
May:  Direct a soap opera better than Humsafar [staring Fawad Khan as a villain].
June: Take a break and trend on twitter #sidrahwhotrendedandgotfamousfornothingatall
July: Ask someone to marry me and then leave them at the altar (or rather leave them sitting on a highly decorated sofa). --> the runaway bride
August: Become a silent monk. Shave my head and give everyone a baleful stare.
September: Make a movie '2013'. With amazing 8D effects. Tagline: The world ends, once again.
October: Befriend some Eskimos. Live in a igloo and eat fish and fish and fish.
November: Run a famous jalsa like Imran Khan's PTI.
December: Don't look back. Just run forward.

The Next December.

So, I should pack my knapsack and steal a camel.

Happy new year!

Obsession - A Donut.

I broke up with my obsession yesterday. We parted on friendly terms. I thought my infatuation with Edward Norton would go on forever, however it lasted less than two weeks. After stalking him on twitter --> his tweets were really boring and didn't satisfy me at all, staring at his pictures, watching all of his movies (even the sucky ones like Death to Smoochy), and posting a really silly blogpost about him, my obsession turned into indifference. It was my first crazy celeb crush and hopefully my last. And such a relief it is. Now I can concentrate back on my plan --> taking over the world. Unfortunately my plan won't work for another thousands years. 

So, am putting Edward Norton into my secret book --> The Great Book Of Obsession (the things I obsess and dream about) by Anonymous.

It has a long lists of things Anonymous had loved and ditched over the years. The cover page also has a warning: Highly contagious. You might want to obsess yourself. If you have found it then I beg you not to read it, it will only waste your time. By the way page 107504 has the exact thing I warned you about.

Okay.

Current maddening obsessions: Peanuts. Inheritance cycle. Internet. Procrastination.

So, who went to Karachi International Bookfair? Anyone? ANYONE? I went twice, spent all my savings on just 9 books and didn't even feel satisfied. I wanted to spend the whole day there browsing and buying books if my parents had let me. I have decided I absolutely love bookfairs. Even KIBF with its snobbish highly priced load of books. Even in school when most of the kids couldn't care less, the yearly bookfair and library time were few of the things I really looked forward to (the others being: lunch break and morning presentations).

So.. I'll blog-walk for a while. I miss stalking your awesome blogs, guys. This 3 months long study-leave is not going well with me. Cannot study, cannot have fun. Sick.

May the stars watch over you. <-- a symptom of obsession with Inheritance cycle.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o