Drip drop… Drip Drop... Drip Drop…
Gloria couldn’t sleep. The sound of rain was comforting to her ears but it made her stay awake, made her want to listen to it. She tossed and turned, pressing the pillow against her ear, hoping the sound would fade and she could sleep. It did become muffled, yet it was still there.
Her eyes traveled in the darkness of her room, searching for clues. She felt restless as if something was going to happen and she couldn’t wait. She prayed to God that this time it would be something good. Hadn’t she had the very same feeling 5 months ago on that cursed stormy night? And look what happened then. But Gloria didn’t want to think about that now. She knew this was her lucky night. The rain didn’t seem malicious… it sounded friendly. A good omen. The clock on the side table read 4:30 AM. Soon the sun would rise, hiding shyly behind the dark clouds. It’ll be a new day. Her eyes stopped on the window, the golden framed window. It was calling her. She had to go.
Not bothering to switch on the lamp, she groped for her clutches. Her mother was right; she should always keep them beside her bed. Gingerly she let herself fall from the bed and landed with a light thud on the floor. She could feel the cold metal against her thigh. There they are…Just under the bed. Silly me.
With the help of her clutches Gloria walked to the Golden Window. She pressed her face against the cool glass. She could see the tree which she always thought was a bit sinister. Surprisingly, Gloria didn’t think so now. Why its huge dark leaves scared her ever? Why wouldn’t she climb on its strong trunks to scare the birds away? Why wouldn’t she go even near it when others of her age would be playing and building a tree house? The way the tree was dancing in the wind, it looked frail. Not a bit strong or evil. I hope it falls…tonight. She knew it was mean of her to wish so, but maybe then she could go out.
How long it had been since she set her foot out of her home? Her life had become like a ghost town. Once alive and glittering, now dead and dull. Where did all those people go who were supposed to be her friends? The people who were the glitter of her world? She could tell. The lovely clothes, awesome shoes, glossy make up and chic handbags were in her closet, rotting in their own way. The shiny materials were of no use for her now. Maybe one day they would be, but at least not today. The spark was lost.
‘Gloria?’
It was June.
Gloria looked at shoulder and smiled faintly, motioning her to come in.
‘You’re awake’ June gazed at her. Her face showed no sign of emotion. Gloria nodded and touched her sister’s cheek, it was apple cold.
‘It’s raining’ June said in a monotone, her emerald green eyes piercing hers. Gloria wondered at her sister’s neutrality and looked back at the window. A sudden clap of thunder shook them both.
‘Gloria’ June whispered. She knew what June was thinking about, that night when all of her doors got closed. ‘It’ll be alright. You know that, don’t you?’
Gloria smiled and ruffled June’s hair. Long, shiny and silky. She knew what her own will feel like; the blunt stubble will graze her hand. But they will grow back. The honey blonde curls will frame her heart shaped again. Her blue eyes will sparkle like stars and her cherry red smile will light her face. She was going to break some more hearts. Gloria smiled.
‘I just had a dream’ June’s voice brought her back to earth. Gloria raised her eyebrows.
‘I.. I saw..’ her face was scrunched up, mind searching for the right words. Taking a deep breathe, she said, her face calm, ‘Forget the dream. Imagine. You’re walking, the wind is pulling you down... Trying to stop you. You’ll not, you don’t give up. You get injured, you go weak. But you don’t let go. You want to reach your destination and nothing can stop you. Not the strong currents, the storms, the people… and nor the huge stupid trees. You keep walking, determined. And you win.’ After a pause she added, ‘You have not lost your voice, forever.’
Gloria sighed inwardly and smiled wryly. Hair could grow, but can her voice? Who knows? She was alive and being loved by the ones who cared, and that matters the most right now. Life could not be perfect at it used to be, but it was free of the entire fake.
Gloria looked at the Golden Window; the tiny droplets were caressing the glass. The sky was crying the last of its tears… at least for tonight.
She was locked in a room with no doors or windows. She was suffocating, rotting and being wasted. Now one window had appeared to her rescue. The rest will open slowly, leading her to the Door. Unlocked. Or maybe not.
My eyes hurt because of the sunlight and I squint. I walk slowly. It feels weird walking without the clutches, but good weird. I feel free. I walk to the huge tree, you know it doesn’t scare me anymore. Yes, it doesn’t. I sit under its cool shadow. Am I not glad it didn’t fall!
Today June made me get rid of my purple nightie which I’d been wearing since two weesk. Like a big scary nun, she forced me to take a long bath. She locked me for 2 hours. I felt new. Then I got into my yellow flowery sundress. It used to be my favorite. It still is. My hair hasn’t fully grown, but in a few months they’ll be. Right now a hat will do. Now letting my eyes wander around the park I wonder is it really 10 months? I cannot believe. Nothing has changed. Children playing noisily, mothers walking with their babies on prams, a few people reading, a young couple kissing on a bench. It has always been like this. Except me. I have changed. My voice isn’t back. It won’t be. Life goes on. I’m fine and happy.
I re-posted it because nobody read it before except Sana =| do read this time! Or I will post it again. *evil* =)
Sidrah xx o(^-^)o
