All Done To Be Left

'So much done to be left ='('


This is what my text said a night before the exam. My friend replied back, 'You mean so much left to be done?'

I was on a verge of nervous breakdown. Daily I spent 20 hours studying. Wake up, study, snore, wake up, study, snore... Isn't this going on for 3 months now? You tell me, how long I have been crying 'exams hai exams hai'. It still isn't over. No, baby, no. You might as well say they have just started. Am pissed off, big time. KU cancelled our paper, it'll be held on 8th January (let's hope so, let's pray so). Plus 4 vivas to go through *sob sob*

Okay, okay. Here I am! After a long, long time. Did you wonder about me? No? Oh. I cannot promise when the punctual blogger in me will be back, I can only hope before I turn 20. I miss blogging and miss reading your blog posts. Am sure you guys miss my awesome comments, too.
No matter how horrible my days are I still manage to watch few movies (about 10). I loved Inception, it was wowsers! Leonardo DiCaprio is too good *crushed*. Another movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall made my day (night, actually, I watched it at 3 AM). It was a good laugh; light and full of funny bits. If you like good romantic comedies, do watch it (Yeah, so what if Jason Segel is a bit gay in it). Black Swan is next on my movie list.

I went to Expo bookfair with Sana on Saturday. Liberty bookhouse made me drool, I wasn't so rich, I could buy only two books *pouts* Next year am going to go loaded. Going to start saving money from now (now = next month).

Anyway 2011 is around the corner. How about some revolutionary resolutions? They never work for me. Still I have made a few (it is worrying how they never change)
- Save money. Starting now. (Reaction: oops, it'll have to be next month!)

- Lose weight (Reaction: this one sucks. It NEVER works. Never ever. Never.)

- Eat less (Reaction: same as above)

- Study (I already am! Don't make me puke)

- Buy clothes (yes, my topmost priority. Old ones reek of exams.)

- Watch movies (yes!)

- Call my poor ignored friends more often. At least once a month. (It's such a task now. It should not be. God, where is my 'time'?)

- Complete 2nd year. Haha, I have been trying That for months now. God bless you. KU.

- Update my blog (am I not doing that now?)

- Socialize with people (now what is that supposed to mean? It's on my resolution list for years now. I don't get it).

- Complete Wuthering Heights without wincing. (classics make me wince *shrug*..anyway, I think it'll be done before new year)

You made any?

Books you should read "Tipping the velvet' and 'Wuthering Heights' (without wincing). Oh and I love the band Birthday Massacre, they sing great! Not many people might think so, still I feel their song "Plastic Blue' is quite nice.

Pharmacology viva is next Wednsday. I want to stand on a mountain peak and scream at the top of my lungs *aaaaaAaaaAAAAaaaAaaaAAaaaAaaAAHhhhHHHHHHHHhhHhhhhhHhHHhhHhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Virtual is better than nothing *sigh*

Oi! Happy Winters ^^ aren't they cosy? Have some peanuts!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Be Creative. Imitation Is Suicide

Who doesn't once in his/her lifetime wants to die? (of course if you are an extremely happy person, you will not) I don't either, but one can't help but imagine so sometimes *blush*

Well, if anyone of you is planning to, here are some ideas =] ..those hanging yourself to a fan, overdose of sleeping pills, slashing your wrist are old ones. Nah, be creative.

NOTE: Please make sure you die! (don't forget to write a will)

- If you are afraid of pain, just lie down on your bed, don't move, don't eat, don't drink.. you will fade away slowly and peacefully. Plus point is you won't be fat when they bury you.

- Get a rocket. Tie yourself to it. Launch it. You will be dead in a little while, after a getting a little view of heavens above and universe around you. Lovely, right?

- Fight a lion in a cage.

- Eat yourself.

- Try to rob a house where wrestlers live, they will surely beat you to death.

- Dig a hole, and jump.

- Drown yourself in a chocolate pool.

- Go for a swim in a Crocodile lake.

- Kiss a poisonous snake passionately.

- Keep inhaling nitric oxide AKA Laughing gas.

- Drink hundred cups coffee and die with caffeine toxicity (now this one is my favorite, my blog-pals would know why Oo)

If I ever planned to die young, I will take my dad's money, go to Venice, will have a good time and then drown myself in a sea. Romantic, right?

Okay okay, this is just a joke =o don't try these, you will only end up embarrassing and injuring yourself.

My laptop's in a hospital =] hopefully it will get well soon. Exams exams, from 13th December *scream*

Life's good. Who wants to die? Not me.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

From A Laptop To A Huge Pile Of Crap

I am the saddest girl in the world right now, at least one of them. My poor poor laptop has been eaten away by an evil ThinkPoint Virus (damn you!). It was only four months old *sniff sniffs* and how sad it is to lose all the lovely pictures, all the unfinished stories I had written, all the songs, movies and videos I had downloaded. The nice homey feeling gone... sad sad sad.

My life is now black and white, it has no meaning, no more.. no more.. no more.. And the big old crappy PC I have to use now in my brothers' messy room *sigh*

Kills me.

I could not even watch Inception now. Plus I am stuck with my books all day. Can it get any worse?



I so hope it gets okay, my dear laptop, I miss you.

Oh, Moo moo.. Happy Eid. In case am not back soon =)

*a big big sigh*

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

She's Back From The Dead

Looks like I am back. Cheers? Yes, please.

I spent two weeks in pure torture. The bleak miserable days. They make me shudder. I thought I would never be my normal self again. I was too nocturnal. I was too busy. I was too lost in the deep dark pathological pages and words which hardly comfort me, or were there by my side when I was being lashed out by the examiner during viva, or racking my brain so hard to remember the name of one pure infectious bacteria that I am surprised it isn't wracked. I gave up tea for one whole week. Tea repelled me. Yes, can you believe it? Sidrah, the great tea lover, couldn't drink tea! I didn't watch movies for like 8 days! I didn't come online for 10 days! Heck. (Except for those teeny weeny peeks in the early hours of morning). And you should have seen my face and not to mention my poor hair. The girl in the mirror was not me. My cheeks which I tell you were like apples were no longer there. My eyes were red and had gone two times smaller. My hair were dry. Was I slightly yellow? Oh no.

I was in a trance and everything and everyone around me were blurry hazy things. I didn't care about food, I ate anything they gave me (this they is just my mum). I had hundreds of unread messages. Cell phones were only another mean of discussing stuff we couldn't grasp by ourselves. I was being pulled apart from the rest of the world. I was drowning. And it was not in the water.

Okay. Enough.. To keep myself sane, I decided to read a book for a while. It took me 1 minute to realize I had no Marian Keyes' novels or another like hers to keep me bright and happy, All I had was Anne Rice. The bleak Vampire chronicles, which am addicted to. But a book on vampires and a sad nocturnal creature like me? Bleak. So not right. Hardly in a mood I read a few pages and I was lost. I spent an hour. Precious precious hour. Gone and lost. Not wasted though, I felt better. It was good to know that I still liked to read. Yay! Vampire chronicles is so much better (like way way way way better) than the all time gay twilight series.

I cannot say all my papers went good. Theory was okay, but viva *sigh* am not so sure. If I could, I would give two theory papers in place of a viva. Its not the teacher that scares me, its myself. The stupid blunders I make. I go in as a genius, come out as a fool. I can only blame myself.

Anyway. Am up since 5 am. Not such an insomniac anymore. I sleep at night. Am happy. Will do some unelfish posts soon =) I missed my normal life. So good to be back.

Oh but yes, I still have to study. My finals are a month away. But there is nothing more horrible than mocks. Trust me.



Off to have some tea now. God, I miss it.

*smile*

Sidrah xx o(^_^)o

Dead Tracts

7:00 AM
I have been up all night. I studied what I had planned to skip. I took the fat book with me to bed and read about the junctions in the mouth, even that did not put me to sleep. Then I read each and every word on tooth shedding, any normal human being would have been in deep slumber in 3 seconds, but not me, no no no, these things just don't happen to me. I gave up and listened to the End Of The World by Skeeter Davis. Its a weirdly nice song. I replayed it about a 100 times. I was wide awake. I decided to watch a bit of The Fifth Element (an old movie), it was kind of fun, it wasn't scary as I had thought (I even switched on the lights to be on the safe side) and I was feeling guilty. The little voice said loudly in my head 'Hey you tried sleeping'. Still I had to feel more guilty! God, why! I went back to bed and tried sleeping again. Nah. Nothing. Mosquitoes bit me. I felt thirsty and hungry. The Nerd which occupies a tiny portion of my brain kept reminding about the Linea Alba, cusp of Carabelli and effin mulbery molars. It's still happening. IntErglobular or was it intrAgloubar dentin? Who cares.


Dead tracts. (it is something in your tooth btw)

Yeah?

Exams in 2 hours. I might puke when I see the paper.

Am still not really sleepy. *sigh*


12:40 PM

I never blog after college. Never. I had rather take my dear nap, thank you very much. Today (even though I haven't slept for like 27 hours) I am going to wait. For food. Yes. That's how much I love it.
Oh, paper went good. I was right about skipping stuff, I should have watched the whole movie.

And lookie! This ad is stalking me

my heart goes out to this poor man..

I love John Cusack in High Fidelity =) (yes, I still watch movies). I loved the movie.

Going to update my blog on Friday.

Friday: A great reason to smile (for those who don't have work or school on Saturday).

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Once Upon A Time When I Was A Kid

Yesterday was the last day of 2nd year BDS. I cannot believe. Am going to be in 3rd year so soon! Insha'Allah.

I have nothing new to blog about so let me tell you about some of the the epic things happened to me when I was a kid (and if you get bored, kindly leave a nice comment and go =] )

I was four. The blue floral skirt was my favourite. I wore it all the time. My mum had to make me fall asleep first when she had to wash it because there was no way I was going get out of it without putting up the fight. I loved it too much. I never told anybody, not even my mum, that I used to wear it under my uniform sometimes (it was also a skirt and blouse). The two skirts were too heavy still I endured the heaviness, it comforted me to know that underneath the horrible grey and white uniform, my lovely skirt was with me. I never got caught. One day it disappeared. Was I heartbroken? Must be.

My brother happened when I was 2. He was a monster baby. The day he sprang a tooth, I had to run miles away from him. My arm was his biting pad. Nobody made any effort to save me. Anyway. Things got worse when he could talk and think. On my 5th birthday he threw a biggest tantrum ever thrown in this world because he didn't get a gift too. I could not have fun with my new bicycle. I was riding it. He was crying. He was riding it (falling off it). I was crying. Next day, he got his own tricycle. Whatever I got, he got it too, the boy version of it. It was annoying.

I had done my bits too. When he was 2 or something, I dressed him up in my old frock, put up some clips on his almost bald head. He was my doll for three minutes until my mum saw me. She was furious. I think it was the first time she gave me a lecture (I didn't understand a word of it). I never tried it again, though.

My other brother happened when I was 6. I remember praying in my grandma's place for a sister. I was so disappointed and terrified when I heard there was another monster baby coming to live with us. However, he turned out to be a cute little thing who wouldn't mind me holding him. He was an angel for perfect 3 years and then.. Monstrous. Still is.

Okay this post is getting a bit long and there are million more. Don't worry not going to tell you all.

Once my friend and I ran away from home with a guy on a bike. I was 5, I think. It was the bike that attracted us, mind you. Good thing he lived in our neighborhood and wasn't some creepy jerk. I was home safe and sound after one round. My parents thought someone kidnapped me. You can imagine what happened to me when I came home.

It was Eid-al-Azha. There was this sheep we all hated. Its owners never tie it. So whenever their gate would be open, it would run after people, especially little girls. It got me one day. I was running all over the street crying and screaming when one good old uncle saved me. The sheep got stolen a day before Eid. Haha.

Okay, no such thing happened.




 Last one (am not a kid in this one)

When there is a mirror, a girl just had to look, even a wee peak would do. On annual dinner, there were two rest rooms. There was this huge mirror in one of them. we all went in and started brushing our hair. We took no notice of three embarrassed boys who looked dazed and confused. They were trapped. We thought they were in the girl's restroom. But look at this picture (note the sign).



well, it is me behind the black circle -__-

Now I will go back to my books. Sorry guys if I have not been to your blog. Exams are like blackholes. Will make up for it soon! =)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

With Severe Headache and Laziness on its Peak, Am craving for the 5th Cup of Tea

I have been drinking tea as long as I remember, since I was 2 or something? When it's not tea it's usually a soft drink or coffee. When it is nothing, it is headache, irritation, tiredness and a slight depression.

I try to wake up earlier in the morning just so I can have a cup of tea before going to college, if I am late then it's gulping down tea from the silly Styrofoam cups (now am an expert in drinking tea hiding behind the tall and short, every kind of students). I go mad if I hear there is no milk or tea bags at home. Don't worry, I have told myself  am going to stop having it after my profs, because I really need it now, I cannot function without it (Don't I sound like an old woman?).

Addiction can be defined as the physiological and psychological dependence on anything. There are numerous types of addictions, some of them are: nicotine, cocaine, sex, video games, celebrities (any stalkers out here?), Internet (If you are reading this, you must be too), shopping, food, sugar, gambling, music (especially trance), and I almost forgot Caffeine (which is certainly a drug).

You know caffeine is the 3rd common reason of insomnia (no wonder why I am a human owl with dark circles *hoot hoot*). Caffeine addiction is something which is not taken much seriously. I guess it is not as bad as drug or alcohol addiction, and the good thing is we can get over it easily, if we are willing to, with minimum withdrawal effects. If we are willing to because it is the first step. Let's have a cup of tea and discuss it? No.

Video game addicts are most popular these days. I read an article on online role playing games. People are divorcing, stealing and dying. Some are having affairs on the game Second life (gee). A boy got deep vein thrombosis in his leg because he spent days in front of his PC without little rest and exercise. A girl and a man died because they had been playing World of Warcraft for almost 50 hours, continuously (they were even given a online funeral in the game).

Celebrity stalkers are the creepy kind. I mean why would you want to go jail and label yourself as a Psycho? Or murder him/her?? Like poor John Lennon's stalker who shot him after being nearly in love with him. Gerard Butler is a human too (a hot one. But still..). Fame comes with a price.

Sugar Addiction: sweets, cookies and chocolates all the way. As a future dentist I forbid you to eat too much. Plus the sugar rush, as good as it might feel for a little while, have several consequences.

Food addiction: Compulsive over eaters. They will eat whenever they want to, hungry or not. Result is obesity. You got it. I have noticed I eat too much when am depressed. When do you?

I can go on and on, but let's do a full stop. I wrote this on Friday night. Right now am having tea. I like it strong and unsweetened. How about you?

Apart from tea craving, my life's in a rush. I get home, take a nap and study study and study (not much retains in my mind). 2 weeks till Pre-Profs. Time, run faster.

Oh by the way I had great fun in the Annual Function last night. I decided to go with black and red =) (I looked good).

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Fooled Girl Becomes Zombified

The biggest misconception: BDS is easier than MBBS.

I have been fooled too. MBBS isn't easy but BDS is not a piece of cake as most people like to think. You have extra dentistry subjects along with MBBS course and a less duration of time.

My parents wanted me to study medicine. If i could have I would have run a 100 miles away from them (just for a time being). No, they didn't force me, yet in every other conversation they would drop the hints like:

'Doctors are very respected and rich'
'Blah blah's kids are in medicine. Isn't that nice?'
'Blah-blah is going to be a doctor'
'Your grandma wanted to be a doctor but she got married'

Right.

I was lost. Most people I knew then KNEW what they were gonna do after Inter, I was a confused soul. I didn't want to do anything. Really. Every other course made me cringe. I even did two or three posts about it on my old blog. I sat wondering and blogging and eating and sleeping, whereas my friends were already taking classes and worrying about things like Guyton and baby guyton, clothes and ugly boys. Then it hit me. I had to get going, I was feeling left out. I made a deal with my parents. BDS or BDS. That's it.

Here I am. I don't regret it (just a bit). However, it is not easy at all as I had thought, And please, people (most of them), if a student is in BDS it DOES NOT mean he wasn't given admission in MBBS. There are fools like me and there are lovers of dentistry. Believe, I know.

My pre-profs are from 24th October and my Profs are from 29th November *sigh*. Wish me some luck. I wish I can fast forward to January. It will be three months of terror.

Am feeling so guilty because I should be studying Pathology (neoplasia), not blogging. To tell you the truth, am depressed =/ the pressure.. I am so tired of it. (oOoOo.. last minute confession). Last year, during these days the guilt made me ditch my blog, pray I don't do this again or by the time I graduate I will have about 6 blogs. I have become a zombie again *sniffs*

But, hey, it will be okay, fun and sunshine again =). Am gonna do my best. Insha'Allah.

Yeah!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Blue Lion

The blue lion roars and chases you.
The nightmare has become your dream.
Such obscene obsession it is,
just desire, no trust, no beam.

The anguish of the terror engulfs you.
Your horror mingles with your fantasy.
The pain is there, yet you are no more.
Someone has gone lost in the nuisance ecstasy.


Okay. Do not ask me the meaning. By the way I did have a nightmare about the blue and orange lion trying to kill me on Sunday (can you just believe it? Am going to change my favorite colors).


 

No, the lion was not that cute.



Was more like, this =|



Nothing really special going on in my oh-so-awesome life. Miracles and miracles, am passing my tests in flying colors. I hope I will be able to pass Special Bacteriology on Wednesday. I have to rattafy about 100 pages tomorrow. Blah blah.

Annual Dinner might be held on this Saturday. I cannot decide what to wear, I don't do fancy, but last year I felt so under dressed. So, blue and white poncho or red and black (with a bit golden-golden something) long shirt? Gee.

It really sucks to miss someone.Changes are not usually good. I make mistake, you make mistake, I say things to hurt you, you do things to hurt me. What the hell? Let us kill the ego. You won't and neither will I.

Anyway.

That's the end of the another selfish elfish post with a touch of a weird poem. Heart you all. Yes, even you.

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Spending Minute And My Not-So-Happy Feet

Another selfish, elfish and a lame post.

So I have spent my minute Eidi. I am happy.

Yesterday was an awfully awesome day. In the morning, I was real high (now don't get the wrong meaning. Was only in high spirit). I wore my new favourite dress, had a light breakfast (breakfast happens to me very rarely). My friends and I had planned to go to the mall since it was Wednesday. Wednesday is a 'Free' day, so free that we don't bother to go to college most Wednesdays. We have one lecture, sometimes a community trip and then 5 minutes long Phantom head. Rest of the hours are spent by yawning, talking, waiting and eating. Only good students go to the Library to study. Anyway. At college, Hafsah showed up. Surprise, surprise! She was in Kuwait. We did not know she would be coming. We were all chatter and smiles. I had asked her to bring me a very cute (and expensive) stuffed toy, a Unicorn. So there goes some of my eidi.

Please don't say it is ugly like my dad did. I Love it.

Trip: Noisy kids who giggled, poked their tongues out when we asked them to open their mouth and they had to make comments as soon as we turned, weird teachers who kept glaring at us as if we were there to steal the teeth, the evil fat headmistress who made sure every kid had displayed their mouths to us, the stupid mouse of the assistant who wanted us to cover our faces with masks and wear stupid gloves. I checked 21 kids. That's a lot. (yes we count, too) I was dying!

Then we heard we are having an extra class of Oral Anatomy, 1 hour and 30 minutes long. Yuck! We bunked.

Mall: After this nightmare, we had a happy time and some happy meal. We went to the mall, tired as hell. We still managed to have fun, I got myself a cute clutch and a stone bracelet.

Yes. I know. It was not supposed to be Pink. Say you like it.

We were about to go when something happened to my poor feet. They went stiff. Like duh! I could not walk. It was one of the most embarrassing things happened to me. I was laughing but I wanted to cry too. Helpless feeling and the stupid pain. After some massaging, I was able to walk (I felt, and probably looked, like a little baby taking her first step). Asma got to wear my heels and I got her flat sandal. I hate flat sandals and she hate heels.

Home: In my lovely bed for hours. I missed college too.

I feel Better now.

=)

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

I Am a Supergirl With No Superpowers and Hardly Any Motivation. I Love it.

It all happened so soon. I have 5 months of being a teen and then it will be over, I will be an official grown up lady. Tada! Am not so looking forward. Is there a name of fear of turning 20? There should be. Twentyphobia? No, that is so lame. Most of you might ask 'Why?'

Because.

I won't be a teen, anymore.

There you go. This is the number one and the only reason.

No more blaming my mistakes, moodiness and ignorance on the raging hormones

Responsibilities.

Being two decades old

After 10 years I will be 30.

After 20 years I will be 40.

After 30 years.. Okay, that's enough.

It will be the so called Adult life, I don't think am ready yet. I can actually hear my mum shouting at me 'You are not a Teenager! You are 20 years old for God's sake'.

When I was 15 I had made a list on my purple diary 'Things I have to do before turning 20'. I haven't done most of the things. I can barely cook. I cannot even light the stove properly and I jump back back as soon as it lights. I don't know how to sue. I still haven't learned how to drive. I haven't done a single internship. I haven't written a book. I depend on my parents on many things, from waking up in the morning to the tea in evening. I even haven't sung a solo song in public (well, I won't ever do that).

At 15, 20 seemed far far away. At 15 I didn't give a damn how I look (only a bit). I do now, a lot. From last month I 'feel' kind of grown up. The world is not as innocent and a happy place as it had seemed. I learned things about myself I like and I don't like. I hardly share anything with my Mum now. I can tell who is going to be my friend forever and who is just here for the time being. I realized my parents used to have a life too before they had us. I might get my heart broken or I might break someone else's. Let's hope for the latter one. I know in few years I might be married and will be having babies *eek* (I just Cannot imagine That life). In few years, I will be a dentist, Insha'allah, a successful. Ahem ahem. I would love to earn some money. I also got that I will die one day *gasp*

I love who I am now, I adore my life. The night of 4th February, at 12 AM, no drastic change will occur. I wont grow taller and fatter or a responsible woman all of a sudden. I might not even notice it because I will be too excited for it will be my birthday until they bring the candles, 2 and 0 (sorry Sana, maybe I should not have brought you the candles with the cake. But you can. Yes, am counting on a surprise again).

                                                   

However, one day it is going to go. I will be another meaty lady in the midlife crisis *scream* but this is life. We age. I realize that. So at 19.5 I know I look good (at least to myself and Mum and Dad), I might have spilt ends but my hair are awesome, long and shiny and whats more I don't have to use Kala kola (I wont Ever use that!), I don't have to dab my face in makeup, I can look way better without it. I don't have to use anti-aging cream or Botox (you know Botox is actually made from a very pathological bacteria. Beware of how much you use it!). Am gonna age Gracefully. I should not worry about that now anyway. I have got many many years. Guys, love yourself and enjoy yourself. Let's be glad we are born as babies not, as grownups.

Am still dreading it.

                                                              

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Glow

Once upon a time when there was no Edward and Jacob to distract girls, lived Glow in her little white cottage with a red thatched roof. In those days, mothers would read their girls bedtime stories about ever lasting love, filling their minds with love and love, making them a hopeless romantic. They would assure their daughters that someday when they will be the beauties of the village, the prince would come riding on a horse, just for their hand for marriage. He would be the most handsome man in the world, a complete gentleman, not to mention the richest. Glow had believed so too. Since the day she turned sixteen, she had dressed everyday in her best Sunday frock, her hair set neat and silky in a pile, a beautiful pearl necklace framing her tiny neck. Every morning as she would go down for breakfast, her mother would cry out in happiness. Glow looked breath taking.


'My child! You are beautiful,' her mother, Olive, would hug her tightly, tears welling up in her eyes. She was one proud mother. She still couldn't believe that she played a big part making this beauty for she was no looker herself, however her prince had come too. He was a farmer's son, not the most handsome nor the richest but a thorough and thorough gentleman. She loved her Richard. She was sure her daughter would have a real prince herself.

Until now. Glow turned 20 and there was no sign of the prince. She grew tired of dressing everyday and was back to her old tomboy look. Olive wasn't taking this well. She still had hope but how will anybody fall in love with her daughter when she looked like a 13 year old boy?

'Glow, you need to shed these clothes and wear the purple gown I bought last week'

'No, mother. I am tired of these games' her daughter looked content and smiled a little. She was very disheartened before that there had been no prince for her. The stories she grew up with and what she truly believed in were all fake words. Now she knew the prince doesn't always come looking, the princess had to do some work too. She was working on it.

There was this Timmy, the farmer's son she had a crush on. There was John who made her blush. There was Fred, her almost best friend and there were others except The Prince but of course he was taken by Cinderella, Snow White, Bell, Princess Aurora and the others. She got over it. Glow was a happy girl.



..but the happy ending can be in your hands <3



Bored out of mind. Decided to wrote this senseless story. Books are my fate these days. Where are you guys? I see no comments (what I mean is Less comments). By the way, this picture made me laugh.
 

click to enlarge ^^

 
Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Happy Orange and Bright Blue Eid!

Happy Eid, guys. Second day of Eid is going to end soon. Its a slow-slow day. I even tried to study. How was it with you guys? Mine went awesome. The first day went as Great as I had hoped. I looked good enough (Sana said I looked Girly much. Yay!). Yes, I used the turquoise eye pencil. It turned out it was not turquoise but some different, yet cute, shade of green. My nails were sparkly green, too (still are). I got my left hand done with henna after like 8 years. I find it weird. Mehendi is just not my thing. My hand looks very good, though, mind you. Do I sound self-obssesed? Oh God. I am not at all.

So got any eidi? I have collected only about Rs.1800 ..200 more and I will be satisfied. You can do a lot with Rs. 2000. Let's think what can we get:

A retarded Nokia black and white cell with an awesome Torch. Who doesn't want that? =)

Okay that was just to freak you out.

You can get an awesome dress.

A cool pair of colorful sneakers

Lots of funky jewelery
2 books from Liberty Bookshop (could be 3 too)
About 21 DVDs from The Music City

A yummy eat out at Arizona Grills or Copper Kettle (but be careful with the menu, you just might have to wash the dishes)

Imagine that?

Or a perfect new wall clock and a cute Poster for your room (yes, I want That)

I love my room. I know I have done the post on my room before too. It is very simple and unfortunately neat. I want more colors. The bare wall disturbs me day and night. Am thinking to paint it orange and bright blue. I know they might clash and look stupid. However, they are my colors these days. I even got a orange and bright blue bedsheet, not to mention the orange and blue cushions. God help me.

Lovely Colors, right? =)

Eating fresh cream cake. Mum is making achaar gosht. The whole house smells quite yum. I have never eaten it before. Surprised? Tonight I shall *happy dance*

Update: My brother just brought some Pizza home. Yay me!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Mistakes Happen

He drove slowly on the highway. People in other cars yelled at him to drive fast. One guy even called him a piss head. He couldn't agree more. He had messed up, big time. His life had no meaning anymore. Tears trickled down his cheek. He sniffed and wiped his nose. His life.. a man he used to be.. seemed like a fading dream now. The bundles of money he has stashed in various banks were of no use to him. There was no one to share with. His wife and his children hated him. He could not blame them. He had ruined their life to live his own. Affairs after affairs, drinking 24 hours, spending money on himself and his endless girlfriends, that was his life. He was one good looking man once, tall and well built with his dark blond hair, blue eyes, high cheekbones. Simply, he was handsome, with no doubt. Look at me now, he sighed, I have a paunch, receding hairline and I have to wear ugly glasses. His silver Volvo doesn't seem to attract girls anymore. He was no Edward, after all, just an ugly and fat middle aged man. He had tried to amend his mistakes. It had been too late though. His children said they had forgiven him but he knew they hadn't. His wife had made a boyfriend. She was happy enough. He sighed heavily and looked around him.


He pulled the brakes when he saw the yearly SpringWell festival sign on a new huge playground. He hadn't attended it in years. Why not go in? He parked and got out of his car and walked fastly toward the entrance. He bought his ticket, smiled at the guard and went in. He was feeling very excited, like a little kid. He was smiling widely and his spirits were high. He saw couples, kids and fat housewives having fun. Their cheeks were glowing red from the laughter. He wished for a moment that he had someone to laugh with. However, he was too high to feel sad again. He would take rides, he would eat cotton candy, he would play games, he would buy useless teacups and T shirts which won't fit him. Yay, his heart cried out in happiness. He bought some cotton candy and ate it slowy. He loved the way it melted slowly in his mouth. How very yummy, way better than the chocolate mousse, he decided. After finishing his cotton candy, he turned toward the Hotdog vendor. He smiled politely at the fat lady standing behind him and let her buy first.

'What a gentleman,' the fat lady whispered to her fat friend.

'Yes, you don't get much of them these days,' the friend seemed very amazed too.

He had heard them. His was pleased with himself. He sat on the bench when he had bought his hotdog. He savored each bite. How delightful. He loved food. Food came in every color, shape and price. As he took another big bite he caught a little boy looking at his hotdog hungrily. He ignored it at first, but the little boy kept staring. He couldn't help but feel bad for the little boy. The little boy looked very weak and poorly dressed. His bright yellow shirt was torn in several places and his trousers had patches.

'You want some, little man?" he asked the little boy. The little boy nodded meekly. He stood up and got 4 hotdogs, all with different sauces. One was for himself. The little boy and he sat on the bench and got busy with their hotdogs.

'I am Little Tommy. What's your name, sir?' the little boy asked politey, his blue eyes were wide open. The ketchup was smeared on one of his cheeks.

He was surprised. Nobody had asked his name in ages, must be 10 years. He had forgotten it himself.

'Wait a second, Little Tommy' he pulled out his wallet and looked at his ID card closely. He looked confused for a moment and then it dawned on him. The ID card said it right.

'I am Fred' he smiled at the boy and took a big bite of the hotdog. He was happy. For now. But now is Forever.



Erm. Stupid? Good? Whatever? Wrote in a hurry or I would have not written it at all. I can relate to this man. No I don't have a paunch, nor am going bald, I don't have a partner or kids who hate me, plus no silver Volovo.. It is that we are just humans, we make mistakes quite often, sometimes we regret them, sometimes we forget them. Don't be too easy on yourself. nor be too hard, It is okay to be a bit selfish sometimes (but not like our younger Fred, huh?). As somebody said 'You are only human, don't feel too guilty' =o

Mistakes happen. Don't regret too much.

So, my shopping is done. Ta Da!! I love my new shoes *hearts hearts*. Got blue, purple and turquoise eyepencils too (God knows if I will ever use them :s). What about you?

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

! @m sTup|d.. The Frandshippers.

Sleepy as hell. Was up all night. College in an hour =/ am gonna be way grumpy Oo

Just as I thought my Internet circle is immunized to all the frandshipper, I got a friend request on Facebook with this message 'hello how r u would u like to have a friendship with me let me know and we will enjoy if u have a friendship with me i will be waiting for yr positive answer and see my profile if u in a mood to contact me tczz' -__-

I know if I accept the request, there will be a wall post saying 'thanks for the add', 'what do u do?' 'you seem very interesting person to me', 'we shall be close friends' 'Will you be my Farmville neighbour?' 'Lets tea'. Yeah, right.

Once upon a time when we were not aware of the sugarness of the Frandshippers, I used to have 1000 swarming on my Orkut and Facebook and whatsoever profiles.I freaked out when I saw one of their albums titled 'my moustache'. There he was, in every single pose imaginable (and unimaginable), sunglasses on, golden teeth flashing a creepy smile, moustache on display.. You can call it a work of art. Times like these you wish you had 'WTF?!" button instead of nuisance Like.

One glance and you know they are IT.. The pitiable and the unstoppable. Most of them are young, but you get few middle aged ones too (with the passport size images, complete with blue or grey background, and poker expressions). If anyone of you is the frandshipper, tell me, why do you think the female population wants to be in your arms? Where do you get so much time and energy to waste? More important: W#Y dO U wr|te l!kE th!s!!!??

I know it sucks =)

I don't like frandshippers and I hate Pokes on Facebook. God knows why but they are very annoying. Why cannot we have cool stuff like kill, strangle and burn?? (without adding any apps). Plus you can always write on the wall. Say hello or just paste a creepy smile --> :) ..Nice, right? Why poke?? It hurts.

Anyway. Refacebook says ten of the weirdest album names ever can be:

Animals I ran over with my car

Me and my new friends from fat camp

The night we all threw up

My liposuction and the bag of fat I got to take home

My collection of celebrity kidney stones

My sex change

Malignant pustules on my back

Things from the back of my fridge that expired 4 years ago
Close-ups of the legless beggar in our street

My first day as garbage collector, the aftermath

Gross, right??

Oh by the way, I cannot comment on most blogs ='( ..Yours, too, Mia. The error says the site is restricted =/ Change the format of the comment box? Maybe pop up box? *sniffs*

Sidrah o(^-^)o

Sparkling Sullen and Freaky Emma

I Heart weekends! o(^_^)o


So I downloaded Aisha and Vampires Suck last night. Happily, I lied down on my cushions.. bag of chips all ready to be eaten sat beside me. I decided to watch Vampires Suck first. It is a vampire spoof film based on the Twilight film series. (I had this feeling Aisha would be more fun, I saved the best for the last). I was disappointed, so very much.

Erm..

The Reasons you should watch Vampires Suck:

Edward Sullen wasn't as gay as Edward Cullen.
Jacob was hotter. He wasn't a wolf but a cute little ugly puppy
Bella was Becca
It has Vulgar comedy (some people are into Vulgar, you know)

Well. That's all about it. Yes, am not a good movie reviewer. Still you just know it when you see a good movie. Only Jennifer did some good in Vampires Suck. Rest of it sucks, big time.

 umm.

Coming to Aisha.. Have you guys seen good old Clueless? It was a total copy of it. Desi version *dead* They didn't even try to change most of the the dialogues! I like Abhay Deol *crushed* there wasn't much of him in the movie =| *disappointments and disappointments*

Who says it is a copy of Emma? More important.. Why?? Oo

Indian movies are hardly worth watching these days. I wish they would make more like Wake Up Sid, Dev d and Fashion (now those were some fun movies!).

Tonight am going to waste some more time (downloading Salt).

Went shopping today. Bought cute little earrings and some nail colors (green, gray and peach). Now all I want is some eyeshades.. and that will be it!

Am not into writing stories and poem these days.. I wonder why =o

Sidrah o(^-^)o

From Today, Thursday Mornings are the Best .. JK.

7:15 AM. It's almost time to get ready for college *sigh* ..not much time to write a post. I just feel like updating my bloggie on this typical sunshiny morning.

Mornings are nice and lovely, why do we have to go to college?

I know what my day is going to be like:

Nap in Tooth Morpho class *eyes close* (if they don't plan to take a test)
Nap in pathology class *eyes open. Pencil in hand and the book on display*
Prostho lab *sweating, mounting teeth, making jewellery out of wax, covered in gypsum*
Tooth Morpho Tutorial *non-stop chatter with my pals* Fun.

This take, Gods know how... but.. erm.. how much hours are is 8:15 PM to 2:00? PM? Yes. So many *dead*

God. My mum is screaming. I should go. I don't feel like getting up, though. Am lying on my soft blue, purple and orange cushions (what colors, right!)

So, that's it (will update again, later, this evening, you care? oO)

Hope my day goes as we planned. Good Morning! ^^

Update: It did go as we planned. My class pals are going to Lal Qila on Monday, I might go, too, or I might not. Feeling lazy (I can change my mind later!). It is almost Iftari time. I can hardly wait. College and fast don't gel. Oh, I like Colorful. Yay!

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

Patience Pills and Lipgloss

Beware! This is going to be another random weirdish selfish elfish post. Enough of -ish.


Yesterday I kept bugging my parents until they took me out to shop. We couldn't go to the place we want to because the buses were burning there (Karachi is so hot!).We got stuck in traffic for like 2 hours. My dad got cranky and started grumbling. I went all emo, no patients pills for a girl like me. My mum was like let's go back home. This annoyed me more. I was on a brink of rudeness when we found a parking space (double parking, by the way). I was the excited happy little elf all over again. Until my mum said don't take too long in choosing the dress. You got emo me. I get emo, too, you know now. Shops after shops, no wonder dress for me. Seriously, whoever design those dresses had no idea of the color combination. Yellow and purple, reminds me of Barney. Yes, I know Barney has no yellow in him, but it just did. Am not a big fan of Barney.I have issues. Pink and green, reminds me of barney again (just kidding). Defeated, we decided to go back. When my dad spotted a shop, just in the front of our car! I cannot believe we overlooked it before. Maybe it magically appeared. Unemoed I went inside, hope bursting out from my heart. I got it! It was a good, good shop. Awesome dresses in reasonable prices (my dad was happy when he saw the dresses I chose had no tag of Rs. 10000000 or other such absurd prices). Then we went home and lived happily ever after.

Until this evening.

My parents are being lazy again. I need shoes, I need different shades of nail color. I need a USB. I need some funky jewellery. I need many other things. They say I need patience pills and they are probably right which is annoying.

Anyway.

What were my parents used to be before they became parents? Aliens of the rural areas of Pluto? OMG. It is not even a planet anymore! Are only mine like this? Please say no or I might just die. Oh, I do heart my parents, very much, but they can be a pain in the neck. I guess, they feel the same about me. Am no angel. However, am going to be a cool mum.

I wish this picture had a grumpy dad too.

I wish I had a sister. Make it 5 sisters. Then it would be fun shopping. My friends live too far away, can't shop every time with them *sigh*

But then again, I would have to share my things with my sisters, so that's all right. I can live.

Looking forward to Wednesday =) Sana and BFG are coming over my place for Iftaari. I miss them, and the fun we have <3

I don't know what lipgloss is doing on the title post. I don't need it *shrug*

Sidrah xx o(^-^)o

The Window

Drip drop… Drip Drop... Drip Drop…

Gloria couldn’t sleep. The sound of rain was comforting to her ears but it made her stay awake, made her want to listen to it. She tossed and turned, pressing the pillow against her ear, hoping the sound would fade and she could sleep. It did become muffled, yet it was still there.

Her eyes traveled in the darkness of her room, searching for clues. She felt restless as if something was going to happen and she couldn’t wait. She prayed to God that this time it would be something good. Hadn’t she had the very same feeling 5 months ago on that cursed stormy night? And look what happened then. But Gloria didn’t want to think about that now. She knew this was her lucky night. The rain didn’t seem malicious… it sounded friendly. A good omen. The clock on the side table read 4:30 AM. Soon the sun would rise, hiding shyly behind the dark clouds. It’ll be a new day. Her eyes stopped on the window, the golden framed window. It was calling her. She had to go.

Not bothering to switch on the lamp, she groped for her clutches. Her mother was right; she should always keep them beside her bed. Gingerly she let herself fall from the bed and landed with a light thud on the floor. She could feel the cold metal against her thigh. There they are…Just under the bed. Silly me.

With the help of her clutches Gloria walked to the Golden Window. She pressed her face against the cool glass. She could see the tree which she always thought was a bit sinister. Surprisingly, Gloria didn’t think so now. Why its huge dark leaves scared her ever? Why wouldn’t she climb on its strong trunks to scare the birds away? Why wouldn’t she go even near it when others of her age would be playing and building a tree house? The way the tree was dancing in the wind, it looked frail. Not a bit strong or evil. I hope it falls…tonight. She knew it was mean of her to wish so, but maybe then she could go out.

How long it had been since she set her foot out of her home? Her life had become like a ghost town. Once alive and glittering, now dead and dull. Where did all those people go who were supposed to be her friends? The people who were the glitter of her world? She could tell. The lovely clothes, awesome shoes, glossy make up and chic handbags were in her closet, rotting in their own way. The shiny materials were of no use for her now. Maybe one day they would be, but at least not today. The spark was lost.

‘Gloria?’

It was June.

Gloria looked at shoulder and smiled faintly, motioning her to come in.

‘You’re awake’ June gazed at her. Her face showed no sign of emotion. Gloria nodded and touched her sister’s cheek, it was apple cold.

‘It’s raining’ June said in a monotone, her emerald green eyes piercing hers. Gloria wondered at her sister’s neutrality and looked back at the window. A sudden clap of thunder shook them both.

‘Gloria’ June whispered. She knew what June was thinking about, that night when all of her doors got closed. ‘It’ll be alright. You know that, don’t you?’

Gloria smiled and ruffled June’s hair. Long, shiny and silky. She knew what her own will feel like; the blunt stubble will graze her hand. But they will grow back. The honey blonde curls will frame her heart shaped again. Her blue eyes will sparkle like stars and her cherry red smile will light her face. She was going to break some more hearts. Gloria smiled.

‘I just had a dream’ June’s voice brought her back to earth. Gloria raised her eyebrows.

‘I.. I saw..’ her face was scrunched up, mind searching for the right words. Taking a deep breathe, she said, her face calm, ‘Forget the dream. Imagine. You’re walking, the wind is pulling you down... Trying to stop you. You’ll not, you don’t give up. You get injured, you go weak. But you don’t let go. You want to reach your destination and nothing can stop you. Not the strong currents, the storms, the people… and nor the huge stupid trees. You keep walking, determined. And you win.’ After a pause she added, ‘You have not lost your voice, forever.’

Gloria sighed inwardly and smiled wryly. Hair could grow, but can her voice? Who knows? She was alive and being loved by the ones who cared, and that matters the most right now. Life could not be perfect at it used to be, but it was free of the entire fake.

Gloria looked at the Golden Window; the tiny droplets were caressing the glass. The sky was crying the last of its tears… at least for tonight.

She was locked in a room with no doors or windows. She was suffocating, rotting and being wasted. Now one window had appeared to her rescue. The rest will open slowly, leading her to the Door. Unlocked. Or maybe not.

My eyes hurt because of the sunlight and I squint. I walk slowly. It feels weird walking without the clutches, but good weird. I feel free. I walk to the huge tree, you know it doesn’t scare me anymore. Yes, it doesn’t. I sit under its cool shadow. Am I not glad it didn’t fall!


Today June made me get rid of my purple nightie which I’d been wearing since two weesk. Like a big scary nun, she forced me to take a long bath. She locked me for 2 hours. I felt new. Then I got into my yellow flowery sundress. It used to be my favorite. It still is. My hair hasn’t fully grown, but in a few months they’ll be. Right now a hat will do. Now letting my eyes wander around the park I wonder is it really 10 months? I cannot believe. Nothing has changed. Children playing noisily, mothers walking with their babies on prams, a few people reading, a young couple kissing on a bench. It has always been like this. Except me. I have changed. My voice isn’t back. It won’t be. Life goes on. I’m fine and happy.

I re-posted it because nobody read it before except Sana =| do read this time! Or I will post it again. *evil* =)
Sidrah xx o(^-^)o